Who do I still think I am??

This one's about new stuff and mouths.

30DBC PROMPT: "The prompt is a two-parter today . What is your favorite update to WDC from the Birthday goodies so far? Remember, it can be anything from Port Awardicons to a new emoticon or anything in between. And, what update/improvement/new feature would you be interested to see in the future?

Hello, dear readers. I hope this entry finds you all well. This talk of birthdays around here on WDC is making me crave something I haven't allowed myself to have in quite a long time...cake. Chocolate cake, to be more specific. I think I might just grab some if I can make it up to the grocery store tomorrow. And don't get me started on how aggravated I was today when I attempted to leave the house to get food.

First, let's get the prompts out of the way. I'm still going through all of the birthday extravaganza awesomeness...I don't want to miss anything because I'm sure by some point next week I'll be bored with all the internet has to offer, and I'll be looking for something new to check out, and all the WDC birthday-related content will be no more. I'll have all these cool new toys to play with, and no instructions to go along with them. Hell, there's already one feature that came out at some point before this past week, and since I've deleted the email about it, I'm kinda lost. There's a new "drag and drop" feature that lets you imbed photos right into your text...and when I click on the little icon for it, it tells me I need to be upgraded to a Premium WDC membership package to take advantage of this. Damn. I don't wanna be Premium right now! I'm comfortable with my regular package and upgrade. But I do like the idea of not having to waste portfolio real estate on pictures and images. Something's gonna have to give here, and soon.

What would I like to see in the future? I've railed about this before, but I'd love to see the size limits on pictures we can upload to WDC changed. 400x400 isn't very big these days, especially now that cameras on smartphones take exceptionally good pictures. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. It absolutely sucks having to edit, crop, resize and manipulate pics to have them stored for use in blog entries and other kinds of writing. I get it that WDC isn't Facebook and a one-touch photo sharing feature will never exist here, but throw us a little bigger bone, man! Technology has evolved...and it's time WDC improved its guidelines for pictures. Maybe after the first year of wearing teenager pants. One can hope.

BCF PROMPT: "Dentists. What are your thoughts on them?"

Duplicate prompts in the BCF, leading to dueling entries! Chicanery! I call shenanigans!

Actually, I really didn't mind. I'm kinda glad I didn't look to see last night that there wasn't a prompt for awhile today. And I'm not sure what to make of either of them. So no offense to the two lovely ladies I consider to be my first kisses (which was what the original prompt was about...and I say two because everyone's got their "peck on the lips" kiss, and then there's the real "first kiss" that goes on and on and never feels like it's gonna end, and the insides of mouths are checkin' out the insides of other mouths, and hey, did it just get hotter in here all the sudden?), but I'm gonna opt for discussing the other option.

Here's a little secret about me. I have bad teeth. I couldn't tell you when the last time I actually saw a dentist and had work done was. There was a time about ten years or so ago that I supposedly had dental insurance through an employer, but no matter where I went they weren't accepting it. I even had one dentist put the bib on me, looked around the inside of my mouth for about ten seconds, and then tell me my insurance wasn't gonna cover the work I'd need, and he wasn't even sure how many trips back I'd have to make. And this guy was s'posta be one of the best dentists in our area (at least he was if you listened to how some family members spoke of him). At that point I'd given up...I'd had enough of driving around to see these people, the receptionists couldn't tell me if my insurance was actually worth anything, and the majority of the providers in the book the insurance company sent out weren't taking new patients anyways. And since I could chew just fine, my teeth didn't look broken, and I wasn't in any pain, then there was no point in playing the game with these people. I brush regularly and have been using a whitening mouthwash for quite some time. What's gonna go wrong?

Well, I also have a healthy dislike of people doing business inside my mouth that I'm uncomfortable with, and even basic dentist routine jobs are very unsettling to me. The sounds and sensations are absolutely repulsive. Sure, these people are supposed to be trained professionals, and likely know what they're doing because so many people place a trust in them that you wouldn't put in just anyone...nobody walks down the street and asks the first person they come across, "Hey, would you shove this sharp pokey-thingey in my mouth, and take $600 for your troubles?" That's legit. I need to find me some kinda gig like that.

I should probably look into dentists in this area though, because I've got different medical coverage since I've moved out here, and I'm having some problems with my back teeth. Problems like they're gone kind of problems. I think because I've never had some of the issues with my wisdom teeth that others have, I've been rewarded with crappy molars. But this is just a wild guess...if I knew anything about the science of dentistry I'd just fix 'em myself and save a ton of money. And I'd fix your busted chicklets too, saving you some scratch by charging less than these so-called "dentist" types get. They've probably colluded and formed some magical contract with a real-life tooth fairy that pays them crazy amounts of rewards and shit for teeth they turn in. Wouldn't surprise me.

If you're a dentist and I've offended you, well, you probably make too much money to care that I'm not in the frame of mind about your profession to consider apologizing. But I think I've just bought at least another ten years of justifying to myself the reasons I won't be seeing any one of you. Although I've heard some places now offer some kind of dentistry service where they knock you out first and then do whatever work you need, which might be the way for me to go. Although I'm not sure how it'd work...they just give you pill and you're asleep short-term? While I see the benefits of this, I also know how my luck runs...I'd probably wake up in the middle of gettin' drilled or somethin', or come to after and discover I've been pickpocketed. Or rather than in a dentist's chair, I'd wake up from being passed out in the waiting room, probably in a compromising position, amid a stack of Highlights For Children magazines.

Oh, you dentists and the ways you're gettin' over on people. Well played. Well played.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I appreciate that this album is called "Songs Not To Get Married To" and many of the songs revolve around the lead singer's divorce. I don't know why I enjoy that fact. Sounds like he got a lousy deal from his ex, but he got to make a pretty good album out of it.

[Ed. note: It's important to state that Reggie And The Full Effect's songs range fully from hardcore metal like this to cheesy European synth-pop to the standard MTV2-endorsed pop-punk of its era.]

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

I've often used this space to complain about there not being enough of the kinds of emoticons I'd like to use when I wanna use them. But lo and behold, there's all sorts of new ones up in the catalog, including a couple I've mentioned in the past. Even though it's probably not the case, when I see emoticons come to existence after I've questioned why they haven't I kinda feel a little pride, like the powers that be at WDC notice these things and are paying attention to whatever it is I'm bringin' to the table. And wow, are there a shit-ton of new ones! Trees, wind, temperature tubes, and even Facebook and Twitter emoticons! Wow! But there isn't a tooth one, or sadly, a hockey one. Truly devastating that there can be a violin emoticon, and not a hockey one. I'd be willing to trade all of the new tree emoticons for a damn hockey stick shooting a puck, so We no longer have to use Brother Nature 's anymore.

Speaking of hockey, the Buffalo Sabres unveiled a new alternate jersey this year. Quite frankly, it's rather ghastly. If I really liked it I probably would've considered embedding a picture of it. Instead, you get a link because I don't want to subject you forcefully to admit how God-awful the things is. http://www.cbssports.com/nhl/eye-on-hockey/23475603/steve-ott-unveils-sabres-new......I love it that when you Google something as innocent as "Buffalo Sabres third jersey", pretty much every link that comes up references in their titles alone how terrible it is.

I've often mentioned how much I enjoy social media. Some of the best news stories are when websites grab a hold of the headlines, and then post reactions via Twitter. It's a beautiful thing. http://www.trendingbuffalo.com/life/digital-finds/sabres-unveil-jersey-community....

Who else remembers Highlights magazine? I swear the only place you could ever find it was at a doctor's or dentist's office, and those places don't really scream "good times for kids to be enjoyed here!". https://store.highlights.com/highlights-magazine-for-kids?utm_content=hcta&gclid....

Ok, I think I'm ready to talk about my expedition into the public today...the one where I decided to get a few food items at CVS. I primarily wanted ice cream, and it was dinner time...it's a perfect set of circumstances if you ask me. I figured since I was going across the street, I may as well grab a few other items as well. More specifically, I was in the market for a block of cheddar cheese, any kind of French onion chip dip (preferably Bison...http://www.wegmans.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?productId=353886...), and something else that for these purposes I'm having trouble recalling. When will I ever learn that the only kinds of cheese carried by CVS are single serving of string cheese, and spray cheese (like Easy Cheese, only in generic CVS packaging)? And how is that a store can be out of absolutely everything I went in there for, and I still manage to spend nearly $20?? (In all fairness, Snack Pack pudding cup four-packs are ridiculously cheap there.) And to further complicate matters, they were out of ice cream. Not a flavor...not a brand...completely out of everything in a carton that could be considered ice cream. The ice cream freezer was totally empty. I realize it's the first week of September, and it's still kinda warm out, but really? No ice cream whatsoever? Every few weeks or so I get an email asking me to take a survey regarding my in-store CVS experience for a chance at winning $1000. I take it mainly because it provides me an opportunity to voice my displeasure over them not having items when I'm looking for them. I'd like to say it sometimes helps, but it does not. But it's not worth it for me to go to other stores when this one is so friggin' close.

A ponytail emoticon would be kinda helpful right now. I had one of those headaches earlier that felt like mine was pulled too tight, so I took the band out and let it down...and nope. I've just got a crazy headache.

As if a headache wasn't bad enough, I've also got the Candy Crush music stuck in my head. Although for stupid addicting Facebook crack a simple video game, it's pleasant enough tuneage.

I think I've caught some form of dyslexia as well with this headache. I probably would've have shaved an hour off the time it took me to type this entry were I not backtracking over every third word or so, it seems, because my fingers hear letters in my head but aren't making the right connections with the corresponding keys on my computer. It's frustrating and stupid...and probably a sign that I need to wrap this up for the evening.

And that's maybe the best idea I've had since I started this entry. Peace, it's the truth, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!