Who do I still think I am??

This one's about a serial and a stinger.

30DBC PROMPT: "Recall a recent monumental decision you had to make recently. On the first day (today), share with us the decision you made and the outcome of your choice. Was the outcome generally good or bad? On the second day (tomorrow), you have a chance to make a different decision. If you choose to change your decision, write about how that choice would affect your life now. If you decide to stay with the decision you made, explain why."

Good afternoon folks! It's your boy's favorite time of the month where he gets to spend not one, but two days talking about something he could easily bust out in a day or less, but it's cool. I've even made peace with the entry that spawned a million YouTube channels single like-minded response, and with the idea that I'll hafta be really bored or need one hell of an amazing prompt for me to top it ("This one's about the video." ). But I'm at least gonna take a stab at this month's serial prompt bonanza (notice I haven't complained about it yet ), because screwing up monumental decision-making is something I tried to study once, but I had to drop the course due to my poor attendance.

The only problem is that I haven't had to make too many "monumental" decisions lately. At least not in the recently recent, as semi-suggested by the actual prompt. Let's boil my mistakes major choices from the last year or so down, shall we? And let's do it like I did back in the days of old, usin' them bullet points, aiight?

Choice: Move halfway across the state where I know practically nobody, or go back to a homeless shelter.

Decision: I moved from Buffalo to Cortland, about three hours east and dead in the middle of just about nowhere.

Verdict: Still too early to call because I haven't quite been here a year, although I'm leaning toward this being another in a long line of bad decisions.

Choice: Keep calm or show off your athletic ability by jumping over a raging bonfire.

Decision: Dude, I totally jumped over that bonfire. Cleared it too. Several times, in fact. Kid's still got it. Mad skills.

Verdict: I'll never walk the same again.

Choice: Shave, cut my hair, look presentable, get a real job, read the book the author gave us when the hot library chick had him come and give a presentation on, and ask her out after we talked about how good it was, or do none of that.

Decision: I don't think I'm getting anywhere with my attempt at dreadlocks.

Verdict: The hot library chick has moved on to another job where there is no presence of me, and, well, I'm still here.

So as you can see, I don't play the whole "decision making" game very well. Rather, "Well do you play the game," says disheveled Yoda, "but suck largely at it you do." And that's his word, yo. Can't front on the OJG (Original Jedi Gangsta).

What I can do though is share with you the decision I made to drop out of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  this month and take a turn at judging entries instead. It took some reflection, but I'm glad I came to the soft part of the landing.

What, that I said it isn't enough? I hafta explain myself too?? Y'all are demanding at times! Whatever. Anyway, I knew I was gonna miss a few days due to doctors' appointments and some random stuff going on here and there, plus I'm having an out-of-town visitor later this week, so I didn't wanna burden myself with having to put the makeup and pretty dresses on for you kind people as well as taking care of some outer-blog obligations. There, I said it. Real life is more important than telling you what goes on in my real life. As it should be.

Anyway, yes, I read every single blog entry posted in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 's forum for the last week. Which is no great stretch since I usually read them all, and comment on 98% of them during most official months. Making the choice to judge rather than compete wasn't hard (even though I couldn't resist the urge to feel like I had to contribute something more than my time, which is why I still wanted to post entries). But waiting until almost the last minute to start judging a week's worth of entries? Listen son, don't ever do that again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfkdZ3tXFSs

I should've better prepared myself for the task of judging. I could argue that I did actually prepare...I spent virtually all weekend with my phone turned off and I stayed out of the sight of almost anything with a time on it (and if you know me you'll know I need to know I'll be able to see what time it is at any given time) so that when it came down to reading all the entries and filling out my scoresheet, I wouldn't be distracted by thinking, "Oh, it's x:45, and I'll have to eat in x-amount of hours" or "Geez, I've been doing this for how long??".

What I could've and should've known, however (if I'd done my homework), was that the Colonel's Secret Judging Recipe was sent to me via a Microsoft Excel document. And I have not used Excel regularly since, oh, 1998 or 1999. I took an hour-long class once maybe six or seven years ago on Excel just to brush up on it, thinking it'd be handy to know in case I ever got a job that required a working knowledge of it...and I eventually did get a job counting things, but that company used some crazy, incestual proprietary MS-DOS inventory tracking system that made almost no sense. For example:

On top of that, my laptop doesn't have Excel. Or Word. Or Powerpoint...or any other fancy Microsoft-sponsored computer fun stuff. What does it have? Notepad...and an option for a free Microsoft Office Suite 30-day trial. Which meant having to download it, and open it, and not screw that up. Which I successfully did, and it only took a few minutes. Of course, by the next time I'll consider judging or even have an official round to judge, my trial will have expired and I will need to steal graph paper from someone in order to make all the proper calculations, and then take a picture of that as proof of my scorecard, and go from there. And that was totally my plan B if I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on with Excel.

I am glad to say that I'm pretty pleased with myself for having figured out the nonsense of computers in the last week of the seventh month of the year 2013, and that I passed up an opportunity to enter the 30DBC for a seat on the panel of judges. It's not an easy thing, believe me. I just hope I was fair and consistent, and I think I was. Once I got into a bit of a system and a rhythm, it was pretty fun...I looked at entries a little differently than I normally would. I scrutinized them a little more, I guess. Anyway, it felt good...I remember the first time I won a 30DBC, and Wordsmitty ✍️ suggested I try it. I kinda brushed him off, saying I needed to win it a few more times before I considered judging. This month, it felt right. I think I made the right choice.

BCF PROMPT: "If you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?"

Awww man...I've had all this time to think of something interesting, and you mean to tell me I've wasted all those thunken thoughts talkin' 'bout me when I could've been trying to determine where I'd wanna be when the crosshairs come out and the flyswatters start whippin' through my air? C'mon man! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1NwW3GCn7k

I'm gonna keep this one simple, with a twist...I wouldn't wanna be a fly on the wall. I'd wanna be a giant-ass wasp hovering near the light fixture or whatever mass body of pervasive light there is when I'm about to make another stupid decision that I'll wish in the coming moments or months what would've happened if I'd done things the right way differently.

That way, I could just swoop down on my big dumb head and sting me in the face. I'm not actually allergic to insect stings of the wasp nature, but I do get light-headed, nauseated and drowsy when I'm stung. Then I wouldn't hafta worry about saying or doing the wrong things, because I'd just lay down, take a nap, and let the world go on around me without having to care. Life is so much easier that way!

Besides, The Beatles re-released the Let It Be album ten years ago (as Let it be...Naked), remastered with a second disc featuring an interview titled "Fly On The Wall" {link:http://www.amazon.com/Let-Be-Naked-Beatles/dp/B0000DJZA5/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1375138569&sr=1-1&keywords=Beatles+let+it+be+naked+fly+on+the+wall}, and I'm not a really good person to ask about history anyway. All that I know about history is that you shouldn't repeat it, or something like that. Or something like that.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I'm more of a "fly in the ointment" than a "fly on the wall", anyway.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

It's here! The newest edition! If you're not signed up, get signed up! "Invalid Item"  And then hit up the "Blogging Bliss Newsletter Forum"  so you can let Wordsmitty ✍️ and the gang know how much you appreciate their hard work putting together the best issue yet! Smitty did all the heavy lifting...I was only there to watch and flex when the pretty girls walked by.

Guess who has more followers on Twitter than thisguy? Moody Blue: Needs an Upgrade ! Not that I use Twitter daily or anything...but go ahead and make a good decision and add @fivesixer and see what happens! (Nothing happens. It's an idle threat. But I do actually tweet once in awhile, so that'll happen. Probably.)

Well, hopefully in the next few days or so (and definitely by next week) I'll be back on a normal schedule where it doesn't take me all afternoon and half the evening to write an entry and then read them all, plus a week's worth of re-reading to go on top of that. We'll see how that goes. And finally, I get to look at a clock and say, in the words of our old friend Brother Nature , O M G LOOK AT THE TIME!! I'm looking forward to seeing everyone else's serials, and actually finishing mine tomorrow. Peace, sometimes it blows my mind, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!