Who do I still think I am??

This one's about superstitious spirituality.

30DBC PROMPT: "Sometimes, we unknowingly follow superstitions even if we don't believe in them. Are there any such superstitions or rituals that you follow?"

Good morning y'all...at least, it's morning here right now, and knowing full well that I'm an occasional rambler, it'll probably be afternoonish by the time I get around to finishing my babble for the day. The only thing that's saving this entry today is the pressure to get this done in kind of a hurry...I'm hungry and I won't have internet for the rest of the day after 2pm.

I don't know if I'm superstitious anymore, or just one of those OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) types. It seems like whenever I think about getting some neurological explanations in my life regarding the hows and whys of certain things I do, I can never seem to get a straight answer (and no, more prescription medications do not qualify to me as a medically approved "straight answer").

Sure, I had some superstitions when I was younger, but they mostly centered around sports...putting equipment on a certain way, doing specific pregame or pre-match rituals, different training routines. When I'd play goalie in hockey I'd tap my pads with my stick in a specific pattern before each period. I don't know why exactly I did it, but I just kept doing it.

Now, I don't have too many quirks I'd categorize as superstition. On nights when I have to set an alarm to wake up in the morning, I triple-check it before I go to bed because I'm paranoid I'll have forgotten to make sure it's set properly and wind up oversleeping. If I get one hand wet I have to get the other hand wet before I dry them. It's a similar thing with shoelaces...if one shoe becomes untied, I have to retie both. I don't know why, but it just aggravates me when things aren't even in a particular way.

I also have a weird tendency to count things. When I would stock shelves for instance, I'd count the items as I'd put them into place. Even when I'd have no reason to keep track. Bizarre, I know. Maybe it was just a way of keeping my mind occupied during a mundane task.

But outside of the old cliché superstitions (black cats are bad luck, broken mirrors are seven years of bad luck, don't walk under a ladder, the number 13, etc.), I don't really follow anything else I can't attach a tangible explanation to (whether it makes actual sense or not). I figure that kind of stuff to me is similar to watching a movie with a far-fetched plot...I'm too grounded in reality to deal with mystical, somewhat made-up nonsense. It's not from lack of imagination, I assure you. It's just how I am, explanations be damned.

Now, after you comment on this, copy and paste it to your email and forward it to 18 of your closest friends and you will receive ultimate happiness. If you do not, you will suffer eleventy-thirty decades of humbling silence while watching animated versions of every blog entry I've ever written. Act now!

BCF PROMPT: "Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time."

Whew. I'm let off the hook there a little bit with the qualifying phrase "lack of". And you thought I'd say "memory" in the hope that mine would've failed me. Well, sometimes my memory works better than I wish it would, and not for the right reasons.

If you've been reading the words I type on a screen for any substantial length of time, you don't have to be a genius to figure out I'm not religious. And to catch up those who are new to this segment of the great unwashed internet population, I'm not exactly very spiritual either...other than my thinking that there's some kind of higher power (that is a woman in nature), I don't really believe in much.

I was forced into born Catholic, but at an early age questioned it. I was told the church didn't like sinners, and sinners included people from divorce, people who used birth control, drinkers and smokers, pro-choice advocates, and basically everyone who wasn't blonde, blue-eyed, chaste, straight and clean. I learned hypocrisy at an early age.

In my teens I met a girl and learned about the Southern Baptist ways. It was eye-opening, both in good ways and bad. Sure, they were looser and more open and accepting than Catholics. But they were twice as likely to stab you in the back as well. The smaller the congregation, the more everyone knew about you...and if they had a predisposition toward not liking you, they just made stuff up as they went along.

In my experiences, what I've learned is that for every denomination, there is at least one hole in their belief system that can shoot down the entire foundation just by questioning any of the tenets in any number of ways. Why should anyone believe fully in something that they constantly find themselves asking questions about and not coming up with satisfactory answers? Or even worse, answers that only seem to apply to some people and not others, or are just backwards and hypocritical at best? Everyone who believes in something preaches faith...but has that faith ever let you down? Has it not come through the way it was laid out for you in the manner you were taught to believe exactly in it and behaved accordingly to? I'm not saying, "Dear God, give me a million bucks and an Xbox and some cool friends"; I'm talking about the teachings and prayers and legitimate stuff your spirituality says is gonna come through for you, but only if you believe.

Hey, listen, I'm sure a lot of you don't agree with me, and that's fine. Maybe you're offended by what I wrote. That's nothing new or surprising. Maybe you're sad and want to pray for me...hey, whatever gets you through the night. I'm not gonna apologize for my life or my opinions. We're all different and have seen the world through different experiences. Just because we don't share the same opinions doesn't mean we can't respect each other.

And if you're still actually reading this, I wrote something last autumn about a situation I was going through with a few people. It's not a religious item, per se, but it does touch on spirituality and the human aspect...some people choose to believe what they want to believe, whether it's right or not. And that could be pretty much about anything, and not just religion. "Selective Emotional Spirituality" 

Now say three Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, eight Kum Ba Yahs and a partridge in a pear tree, and all will be forgiven.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

As individuals, I think what life in the modern era boils down to for everyone is this. As sad and unfortunate as it is.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Here's one final thought about religion. It shouldn't define us as people any bit more than anything else we do or believe in. There are just some things I was always told weren't up for discussion: politics, religion, and a woman's weight and age.

4: The amount of servings in one pint of ice cream, as recommended by whoever concedes all the information on the packaging of a pint of ice cream. Those foolish "recommended daily allowance" people...shame on them! Don't they know it's so much easier to eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting than it is to wonder how big small four little ounces are? To prove my point, I had a pint of ice cream for breakfast and other in the evening. Once you get started, there's no stopping!

And just like that, I've written myself flush outta time. Hopefully tomorrow we'll have something a little more fascinating and less offensive for your eyes and my writing to collaborate with. Peace, and also with you, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!