Who do I still think I am??

This one's about potholes in my blog.

30DBC PROMPT: "There are many fragrances which transport us to different places. What are your "happy" or "frustrating" fragrances and what do they remind you of?"

What's up folks? Seems like yesterday I was having problems editing the original entry I posted. I kept getting an error message saying after my edits were complete that they couldn't be saved because my blog is too big in terms of "k". Whatever "k" means in computer parlance. I figured I'd try one more time...but yeah, WDC wasn't havin' it. It's like trying to get a few more blocks out of a car when the engine keeps quitting. At some point you have to give in and get another one.

Moving right along...

Today in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  the prompt is a bit of a twist on what we're normally fed. It's typically "scents" or "aromas", but today we're dealing with "fragrances". A subtle yet meaningful switcheroo. Well played, prompt-makers!

The fragrances of certain foods always tends to have a calming effect on my senses. Like walking into a pizza place with a full wallet and an empty belly. I stroll into the place with a kind of swagger, like, "Daddy's home!" But I think this might've been taking the love a little too far: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/11/pizza-hut-perfume-us_n_2661170.html

I can't say I've often been frustrated with a particular scent. Grossed out or nauseated, maybe. But frustrated? Or to smell a fragrance again in a way that reminds me of the initial frustration? I don't know. Let me think a sec.

The scent of cold air can be frustrating I suppose, if you're a cold-weather hater like me. I don't mean "brrrrr, it's chilly, better grab a jacket" cold. I mean single-digit temperatures and "snot freezing to the inside of your nostrils" cold. The wind chill is enough to make your body numb but your body's too warm to let that happen, so there's this temperature purgatory going on at the point where your skin meets the air and it doesn't know if it should be making the air warmer or crisping in an icy shingle over your body. There are very few things in this world that can negatively alter a man's constitution in the morning, and one of them is inhaling wintry weather.

But on the flip side, I enjoy a fragrant spring. Semi-damp air, fresh cut grass, and flowers in bloom are just some of the joys of sustained sunshine. The ease at which animals play and gather their needs. The way all the trashy folks gather and hoot and holler, and how their yellin' seems to carry for miles. The raw, hot tar being used to patch all the potholes and cracks in the road from another unfriendly winter. These sights, sounds and smells remind us of all the rebirth going on, premeditated by the springtime months. I barely have had enough time to fully enjoy it, as in a few days it will officially be summer, and before I know it we'll be changing the calendar over to September. I think my fingers threw up a little in their tiny mouths just typing "September".

BCF PROMPT: "Write a review of your life — or the life of someone close to you — as if it were a movie or a book."

And then for the "Blogging Circle of Friends Prompt Forum" , there's this little gem of a prompt. I'm not sure what qualifies me as being the kind of person who can write a review of anything as if it were a movie or a book, or about anyone for that matter. My own life, while it may seem interesting to maybe a couple people, is actually pretty boring to me. And it's not really fair for me to write a critique about anyone else. I don't even do very many reviews on WDC anymore. My stats show I've reviewed 173 items in nearly 12 years. Granted, that number's a little low due to people removing items or their own portfolios over the years, but I don't even remember the last time I gave a review...yet I'm going to attempt to write one now, for myself??

There's a long and dubious list in Hollywood. Movies like "Ishtar" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093278/?ref_=sr_1 and "Waterworld" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1. All the expectations in the world, yet none seemingly have been lived up to. The colossal disappointments. And all of that lies solely and squarely on the man who tried to make magic out of malaise...the only person who would even attempt to write, direct, produce, edit, market, cast and star in such a one-man train wreck: me.

The story starts out with lots of promise. Born 38 years ago and raised by single mother, there are more confusing twists and turns in the plot than a bag of Twizzlers in a blender. Part action movie, part comedy, part romance and part twisted fantasy, this movie fails because it can do many things aesthetically but none of them well. Not even close.

By the movie's end the viewer is more lost than its subject matter...it seems inconceivable that a person would just pack up and leave the only place he's known for so long to become a nobody in a town full of them. I actually sat through the credits waiting like a fool for some bit of validation or tie-in after the final shot of him walking away down the street, but there wasn't even a gag reel...I guess there weren't any jokes left to throw away.

The studio backing this production was relying on the sheer potential, and by putting all the eggs in one basket ensured themselves one shoddy omelet. I wouldn't have even bothered with a "straight to cable" release. I've seen better home movies shot by serial killers. Don't waste your time. Isn't Disney learning how to animate something that hasn't already been a cartoon? Luckily, it won't be this mess. (Rated: R for language, violence and partial nudity. Show times: 9:35pm, 11:55pm. Running length: 1hr, 15 minutes. Now playing at the Gary Coleman Theaters in Wopbopaloobobawopbam, BO.) out of

Sorry...I'm not very good when it comes to fully trying to talk about myself. Telling stories about the past is one thing...writing a review about my life is totally different. Maybe it's because I've read more reviews than movies I've actually seen. I tend to relate too much to some characters, even if it's not a 100% fit. Sometimes all it takes is one little element to think we can and should and will be those made-up roles. But we're not, and I think a lot of people have a tendency to get sucked in by that feeling all too often.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

We're gonna start of on a good foot of sorts here, with some old school beats.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Entry #1 is just about down and in the books. Don't expect too many changes from my last blog. I'm still working with the same groups and all that. Still doing the same things that have made me happy when I'm writing. I'll still have to tweak a few things in the intro and add in all the blog links (I'd been meaning to update them anyway after May's 30DBC anyway). I can't thank enough all the many people over the last two-plus years that took the time to read, comment, award, and share in my experiences. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have.

46.34: Average number of views per entry in "Who Do I Think I Am??" 

Well, I'm gonna wrap it up there. This whole process of finding out the hard way that your blog no longer fits within certain parameters has been a little taxing, but I'm sure it'll all be worth it in no time. Peace, thanks for dropping in, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!