"Her"

Forward

There was a time when you wanted death. There was a time when you wanted it. Turned it over in your mind like a long-wished for goal.

I look up from my frustrations. "So?"

What has changed since then? It seems you're more than happy to give up now, with all your goals closer than ever before. I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid that once you'll start being happy, and then you'll start liking it, and then you'll actually have to start living for once. Not this in-between survival state you subject yourself to.

"I think I've proven I'm no good at it. Living to be the life of the party? No thank you."

I wasn't refering to going to a club, or fitting in. I was saying you should live. In any way you see fit. Do not give up. Shake off negative words, actions and thoughts. Press on.