Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the danger in the airwaves.

THE PROMPT: "Are cell phones dangerous?"

Good evening y'all...let me finish parking the car so I can type out the rest of this entry in the garage from my cell phone... just kidding. That's annoying.

So, are cell phones really dangerous? Well, there's the whole "texting and driving" thing. That can get pretty ugly...you're trying to watch the road and you end up taking shortcuts, texting nuggets like "Lets eat grandma" instead of "Let's have dinner, grandma!", or "dammit cnt blieve i just spilt my beer all ovr my dashbord whl readin ur last txt :(" Those can lead to unpleasant moments, fo' sho'.

Ever been hit in the head or face with a cell phone? And I don't mean opening up your Motorola Star-Tac and misjudging where the part on the flip that accepts your voice accidentally hits you in the tooth so hard you think you chipped it...I mean when someone's using your head as a target and they've wound up with their Motorola Star-Tac like they're Randy Johnson, about to pop off a 100mph fastball. That hurts! Where's the bird to save me from that? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxEUW3pQX6A

But so many people are worried that cell phones will cause brain cancer. I, friends, say nay. I'll tell you what causes cancer. Let me put my cigarette down and look it up in an encyclopedia. Yeah, there it is...the mutating of cells in a bad way causes cancer. So basically, cancer causes cancer, because the cancer makes your cells mutate into these things called tumors. And tumors are part of the tulip family. They're like a tulip, only with twice the beauty. What damage does using a cell phone actually cause, might you ask? Well, when a person mixes themself with alcohol, there's always the risk of suffering from diarrhea of the fingers. The symptoms? Sending texts you wouldn't normally send, taking pictures of yourself in various states of undress you might not normally take, and most commonly, pressing the button that has the green stuff on it (most often, it's referred to as "drunk dialing"). Maybe states should look into some kind of way to legislate that, because it's a phenomenon that's been happening since the advent of the cellular phone. Thankfully, it wasn't that much of a problem at Bayside High. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBWneSL5MWI

So, in conclusion, cell phones are bad. Unless you're playing Angry Birds. That's one addiction that I fear there may never be a cure for.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I was actually at this show, and this song is amazing. The audio isn't great, but the lyrics are kinda cool. "There's danger in the language...I suggest no further use of the two-way radios." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKTn7qlhkgw

This is the album version, where the lyrics are more audible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5DL20PyghM One of their heavier songs...I love seeing it live and feeding off it.

VITAL STATS:

Bills fans, your defense just got mega-awesome with the signing of Mario Williams!! Sure, it took the biggest contract for a defensive player in the history of the NFL, but when your owner's damn near dead and you've got extra money laying around, you do it and sign a guy who could be the face of the franchise's defense for years. This is a man hittin' his prime. Dude's a baller, a straight-up QB killer. I like my football team today.

Other than that, that's all. Boring day today. Not much more to speak of, so I'll leave you with the prompt, kick a hole in the speakers, pull the plug and just jet. Peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HCTcqa0D64