Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about Indecision: 3/2012.

THE PROMPT: "HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHAT HAPPENED?"

Good evening everyone! I hope everyone had a fantastic day...or at least a more fantastic one than I had. It wasn't bad, but it was boring.

Even work wasn't all that exciting. My boss was in and out of the store all day, so I was running the shop. The weather was pretty crappy, so that usually means only the crazies come out. Nope, not today. The snow must've been just enough to keep those folks away too. Most of 'em, at least.

I did learn a little more about a new training tool being implemented in all of our stores. The store managers had a conference call about it yesterday, and today the materials for training showed up in my boss' email. I was fortunate enough to be in the office at the time she was looking at it...it was kinda like a PowerPoint, "read this and click next" kinda thing. And I swear to God, even on my imagination's most hyperactive days, I couldn't make this shit up. I'll share with you the gist of it.

TOPIC: WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE IS AN ACTIVE SHOOTER IN YOUR STORE

Run and try to leave the store.

If you can't leave, hide or take cover somewhere safe and away from the shooter.

As a last resort, you may attempt to engage the shooter by yelling loudly at the shooter and/or throwing things at the shooter in an attempt to distract the shooter and separate the shooter from the gun.

Uhhhh, wait a second. So, the managers were pulled off the sales floor for an hour...to take a conference call...on what to do when a freaking lunatic with an assault rifle shows up and starts decorating the aisles with lead? And you need to freaking tell us what to do? Pardon my French, but if that does happen in my store, I'm getting the fuck outta Dodge. I love my co-workers, and I'm a decent person and all, but this cat's not takin' a bullet for his job, his company or anyone else in the store. But I do kinda like the idea of throwing things at the shooter...maybe anything I can find on my way out would end up in the air. What I'm really thinking though, is if fleeing and taking cover don't work, you're fucked...with a capital D.O.A.

Yeah, that was the extent of my workday excitement. That, and getting out of work at 3:30, only to wait until 5:30 for Jess to pick me up. If you read yesterday's entry, you'll understand when I say "Thank God for newspapers".

That I had to wait wasn't really the annoying part. I got in the car and it was a struggle to determine our next move. Go home? Go out for dinner? Get take-out? Ugh. I had been snacking on the best snack ever invented only to be marked down by Walgreens, these things called Chip-Ins. They're chips made out of popcorn, and they're freakin' fantastic! White Cheddar Chip-Ins...I could eat them like a meal. Therefore, I was in no position to discuss dinner for a little while.

So we went home and changed, throwing out names of restaurants and bantering. We didn't have to worry about the boys, it was just us, we could go anywhere, blah blah blah. Jess gets her boots on and says "Well, I don't care. I've got comfy pants on now, and I'm going like this." They were these thin cottony, almost-sweatpants-but-not-quite, too-loose-to-be-tights kinda pants. I looked at her and told her I wouldn't take her to McDonalds looking like that.

We ended up at McDonalds.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I definitely felt like this today, even if I did manage to get some work done. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZclddLcOYYA

VITAL STATS:

#1 I understand I may not quite look my age, but why on Earth would a truck driver, after dropping off his shipment, refer to me as "Boy" when saying good-bye to me? He seemed pretty normal to me until that point. And then he busted out "Thanks, boy" as he was leaving. It rolled off his tounge like he was living in southern wilderness. As I was closing the door I was hoping he wouldn't try to creep back in and make me squeal like a pig. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8

#2 I stopped at the gas station by my house on the way home for a pack of smokes, and the little teeny-bopper chicky behind the counter didn't ask me for my ID. Not usually a problem, and I'm not one of those who cares either way...I get it, I understand, it's your job to ask and I don't get offended if you don't because you think I'm old enough or whatever. But she asked me my age. And I'm not gonna lie...I was definitely unprepared for that question. Usually, if I'm not asked for ID, I'm asked for my date of birth. I totally took longer than the alotted time to tell her I was 36, and I really don't think she believed me.

I'm excited! At Jess' store, they marked down a bunch of Sony headphones really cheap, so she picked me up a pair. The audiophile in me is a little disappointed in the noise-cancelling, but the sound quality so far has been very impressive. I'm just feeling awesome that I have a new set of cans for my ears . See, when I'm out and about, I like the slim, discreet, behind-the-back-of-the-head headphones or the clip-over-the-ear style as opposed to ear buds. But if I'm at home bangin' away on the computer while people are watching tv, I like a big, old-school pair of headphones cushioning up against my ears, and these are a definite upgrade over my other pair that I think I paid $3 for. I'm not bothering anyone, and no one's bothering me. And that, my friends, is what we call "balance".

And with that, me and my boring day are gonna go elsewhere. Thanks for making me a part of yours...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKlDBi0cyIA