In the beginning all was empty and void. |
"You know your really fun to talk to." Ashly remarked to God. She had not a stitch of clothing or any possessions. There was no need for them in Paradise. "Thank you Ashly." God replied; "Sometimes, I feel you only talk to me, because you want something from me." "Oh? I didn't mean to give you that impression. I just don't know how to relate to you." Ashly lay on the green grass and stretched. "Because.. I'm different?" God felt sad and the air grew cold. Ashly shivered, "Please don't be upset with me. It .. (A-CHEW!) giving me a cold." She curled up to warm herself. A warm breeze blew over her. "Obviously, I need a body. So, you can relate to me.... Would you be my mother?" God announced to Ashly. "I-what?" she could not grasp the concept. "Well, I created everything. So, now I will make you my mother and be your son." God put Ashly into a trance and quickly impregnated her. Her belly grew and when she woke she gave birth.. to God. "I thank you for this miracle." Ashly knelt and bit the umbilical cord in two. The baby cried and then said, "Can you relate to me now?" Ashly screamed and dropped the baby, then the baby grew into a boy in minutes. "Is this easier to relate to?" her son asked. Ashly was stunned and tried to pull the rest of the umbilical cord off. "I'll help!" her son touched her and she was completely healed. She fell to her knees before him. "Forgive me. I-I do not know what to do." she prostrated herself before the boy. "Oh? Just relax. I only wanted to make it easier for us to talk." God the son replied. Ashly was playing with her hair incessantly, "Mmmm mommy needs a hug." She held out her arms and God the son embraced her. "This is nice. What would you like to talk about?" her son asked. "What are you going to do next?" Ashly replied with saucer eyes. "Hmmm. Maybe, I should .. have something to eat? Oh? You haven't named me." God the son replied. "Bob." Ashly gulped some coconut juice. "Bob? Okay! Now I'll have some breast milk." God the son commanded. "Whah?" Ashly was feeling dizzy. Bob suckled. He caused Ashly's breasts to fill with milk. "This is fun. I like being in the flesh. Are you relating to me?" Bob asked. "Yes. Thank you. Can I rest for a while? I need to lay down." Ashly's senses were at a breaking point. She had a facial twitch over one eye. Just then Bob was a fully grown man. "This is much better. Let's have sex." Bob commanded. "Ah-Bob. I'm not feeling okay with that. I just gave birth to you.. 20 minutes ago." Ashly tried to hide behind the coconut tree. "Ashly, I am God your creator. Do not be afraid. I only want to know you in the flesh, because I love you." Bob spoke and the coconut tree vanished. "Holy shit." Ashly crapped as she stood before God. They had sex. "Well, that was fun. Was it good for you?" Bob asked. "Oh? Ah-thank you Bob. You-you are a good son." Ashly walked to a nearby pond and tried to drown herself. Bob would not allow it. "Obviously, I've upset you. Would you like to talk about it?" Bob queried. "I am a simple creature. I know not your Divine plan. But, I think we just broke everything I know about parenting and nature." Ashly spoke in a creaky voice. "Wow! That's great communication Ashly! Let's have more sex." Bob commanded. And so it came to pass the Son of God came into the flesh. =+= |