La Bene Vita

Explosion

I knew this would be a long weekend because of recitals and proximity to Christmas. Yesterday, I had to bounce from praise band practice to work to recitals to Walmart as it was. But then I forgot that my praise band drummer is out, and I have a tween sub who doesn't know the songs well. Also, since the regular drummer is out, we couldn't go over songs for Christmas Eve, which is *next Saturday* (!!!) So I didn't get done what I needed to get done at yesterday's practice, and it stressed me out. Then I got to work, and Karen, the receptionist, had to leave in a hurry because her father was in the hospital for a possible stroke (!!!), and I was counting on her for a number of reasons. And it stressed me out more. And because I had a fever for three straight days earlier this week (!!!), I failed to properly communicate my desire to take the recital programs and get them printed somewhere instead of printing in-house, which takes forever. So Karen printed all day Friday and Saturday, but there still weren't enough. We were fine for yesterday, but there are more recitals today. So late last night after Walmart, I ended up making an emergency trip to get more printed at a print store.

So.... after all that... I forgot to write at 750Words.com.

Not only did I blow a three-month streak, but I'll also be on the "Wall of Shame" because I committed to writing every day during the month of December. I'm numb. I think I'll sit on it before I do something rash. I've cycled through every response from delete my account to just start over with the writing streaks. Now, I'm sitting somewhere in between, because lately, many of my entries have sounded like, "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this, but here we go..." because I have too many other things going on. It would be better to just write when I have the time and clarity to do it properly instead of forcing myself when I'm not in the zone. But I've never been one of those people who does things in moderation. If I start over with the streaks, I'll do it every damn day regardless of the crap I'm cranking out. I'm afraid I'll end up in the same place again - bitching about it instead of using the tool wisely.

Yes, it's just a tool. If I were smart, I would use it to write fiction, or to develop characters, or even to write publishable nonfiction like blog posts or performance evaluations. In fact, I've used it for all these things, just not consistently. Because all these things take some amount of forethought and organization, which means work outside of the twenty or so minutes it takes to crank out 750 words. I have to plan what I'm going to write if I intend to use the tool that way.

So I don't know if I'll use it again, but I'm too busy to be pissed about missing yesterday. I have my first of two worship services to lead in about two hours. The first service will have a tween guest drummer, and the second service will have a skit that I barely skimmed over once and have to personally lead. Then I'll go straight to recitals again. By tonight, when I'm home and relaxed and thankful that it's all over, I'll probably be pissed about missing yesterday's entry.

PS: I did at least add some cool "Buy Now" options to the MTMS   website this week, if I didn't get much else done other than stare at the Christmas tree in a feverish stupor.