Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about 90%.

Ok ladies and gentlemen, after a long weekend of parties and a Monday morning full of stimulation and idea-processing, I'm proud to announce that after a year and a half, my ManCave is approximately 90% complete. Operation #OccupyManCave was an off-handed success, thanks to my quick thinking and some hard labor.

I spent a week last summer basically setting up a space in my basement for me and my stuff. It was nice at first, but it wasn't complete. It's an old house, and the basement doesn't have much power. We finagled a way for the kids to have power on their side of the basement....and then they vacated it. So I said "fuck it" like I was going above and beyond what I was already going above any beyond, and made things happen for me. I extension-corded my basement out, powered up the tv, added another light, pulled the loveseat over and moved my desk, and wouldn't you know...this ManCave is damn near complete. I even called about getting some tv service down in here (fuck if I don't cancel my beloved DirecTv for the hated Time Warner). All I need is that and some speaker wire...and maybe an adaptor so this tv has a few more inputs. Why? Welllllll....

Just picked me up an Atari Flashback 3. Haters can hate on it here: http://www.amazon.com/Atari-Flashback-3-Classic-Console-2600/dp/B005NJ3U32. That was all the motivation I needed to get the ball rolling on things down here...that, and an extension cord and surge protector, which I got on the cheap at http://www.valuhomecenters.com/. Now all I need is said tv hook-up, and get some pictures hung, and this place is open for business! And by business I mean grown men eating food, watching sports, listening to music, and farting. Maybe I can formulate some sort of ventillation system where all the farts go through the blocked-glass windows. Or back up the laundry chute.

MUSICAL BREAK:

During the renovating of my ManCave, this song came on. When it came out about 15 years ago, it was instantly one of my favorites, even though it wasn't popular. That Pearl Jam can play this and make it sound better 15 years later is a testament to their catalog and musicianship. And my good taste .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXIiAlLaDWI

VITAL STATS:

Fitting bullet point, no?

Great time Friday at G-Stamm's for his girl's Tastefully Simple party...and dudes who read this, please, never turn down an invite to one of those. Get your bro on while the ladies get their lady-thing on, while you snack on tasty treats like it's a meal. Cuz really, that's a meal. http://www.tastefullysimple.com/

Equally, if not better time Saturday. Birthday party for an ex-co-worker's boyfriend, better known as "The Gay Pride Thanksgiving". I love you homos...and thanks for loving me. And thanks for loving me for calling you homos. And thanks for grabbing my ass and telling me you love it, when I'm gifted everywhere else but the ass. (Wait...is that their way of luring me in, by telling me they love my unshapely ass, and then taking advantage...??? I'm halting this conversation for another time right now.)

The Twitter fallout in this domicile is hilarious right now. I text Jess the CWC with whatever I need to text her with, but add a relevant hashtag. Like "Hot sauce and tomatoes with peppers in the sauce. #hater". And she doesn't get the hashtag thing. She just calls me "Twitter-gay", and I just tell her all of her friends are gay, and the texting stops. Fed the kids and scored some quiet-time for my phone...aces!

Won't even get into how maddening fantasy football has gotten for me. Maybe I'm too excited about the ManCave, or too concerned about sharing a room with others, to watch the Monday Night Football game. #Idontwannafuckingknow.

There's no heat in the basement, a situation that will be remedied at tax-return time, hopefully. However, I have a good, thick, Penn State sweatshirt on. It's carrying the warmth of my body from all of the movings-around I did earlier, but don't tell the sweater maker. If you do, he might not tell anyone else and actually make it colder in here. (Bad joke, but it was the best I could do at the time...wait...is it still too soon to make Penn St. jokes?)

Ugh, have I disrupted the cats by moving the basement around. Lily's licking the painted spots on the floor, and Butterscotch probably won't be back down here for weeks. Unless I spend some time upstairs. Butters is the puppy I don't have...as soon as I come downstairs he'll beeline as if he's trying to trip me and beat me at the race toward his food dish. Lily is the little selfish princess of the house. They're the reason the bedroom door gets shut at night, lest they pin me in on either side.

This is the last movie I've seen in a theater. You know...one that sells overpriced popcorn and oversized sodas? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424345/ I'm more looking forward to paying lots and lots of money this week to see this instead: http://disney.go.com/muppets/. Just don't tell Jess the CWC. And don't ask me when. Saturday and Sunday are concert-filled.

And that's it, friends. Time to get the most out of what's left of this night (and time off), and I suggest you do as well. Thanks for wasting a little of your time right about here. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! #donthate