Federation Against Video Gaming

Jimmy Tonka

One of the people, who traveled to Chicago to buy video games, was a former 27-year-old game tester from San Francisco, named Jimmy Tonka. Jimmy had Asperger’s Syndrome so he had a hard time socializing; due to this he had spent his whole life playing video games. He almost changed his behavior when his parents sent him to boarding school, but a bully got Jimmy into threatening him, causing Jimmy to get expelled. Even though Jimmy had spent his whole childhood playing video games, it had paid off because he was so good at them that he was hired as a game tester for Bungee; he tested all of the Gears of War games. He was about to go to Japan to participate in a worldwide video game tournament; but because of the laws put into place, Americans were no longer allowed to enter.
One day Jimmy was playing a Sonic The Hedgehog bootleg on his computer; rings were replaced with doughnuts, Sonic was replaced with a fugitive, knuckles was replaced with Chuck Norris, Tails was replaced with a smurfs, Dr. Eggman was replaced with Michael Moore, and the different levels were replaced with a very large bathrooms. Jimmy was sick and tired of playing these bootlegs and wanted to play the real Sonic; Imports from Japan were thoroughly examined due to the fact many people tried to sneak in video games, so now there was no way they could be snuck in anymore. Jimmy could no longer take these laws and knew something needed to be done.
He knew about how a bunch of kids testified to get reduce sentences for murder. Jimmy looked up one of these kids who’s name was Frank Scott who had been sentenced to life without parole for killing 3 people. When he testified against video games, he received a full pardon. Jimmy flew to Philadelphia to see Frank. When he got to Franks apartment he realized Frank was on drugs and the stoned Frank admitted that Dick made a deal with him that would get him out of prison if he testified against video games and admitted the reason he decided to shoot up the school was to prove how good of a shot he was.
Jimmy returned to San Francisco called up an old friend in Houston; a hardcore gamer named Bob Delcon and asked him to fly to San Francisco. When Bob arrived, he and Jimmy anticipated in a long conversation.
Bob: Jimmy, I cannot believe that video games are becoming illegal because of something that a perverted teacher did. How could a teacher be so terrible?
Jimmy: Hey, Chairman Mao was a schoolteacher.
Bob: Have you thought of any new ideas for activities that could get people’s minds off of everything? I was thinking of redoing the board game of Clue based on real cases where you know who did it, but got away with it; I accuse OJ Simpson, in the bedroom, with a gun. I accuse Lizzie Borden, in the living room with a knife. I accuse the Ramsey’s, in the basement with a towel. How about BDSM Barbie dolls here Barbie has naughty clothes and Ken has a whip.
Jimmy: Your idea sucks, but we won’t need to institute them because I am going to bring Dick down.
Bob: I will help because I no longer can stand going without video games.
Jimmy: You are right, Jesus no I know how people must have felt before the 1970s.
Bob: What are you talking about? Tennis for Two was the first video game ever made and it came out in the 1950s.
Jimmy: I know, but it was only available on the big computers.
Bob: Ok, I know how anyone before the 1970s felt, who didn’t have a big computer.
Jimmy: Better. I just want to kill Dick Green, which will probably end these despicable laws.
Bob: In 54 B.C. when Brutus and Cruces had Julius Caesar assassinated; it didn’t end the Caesar regime. Mark Anthony, who was a loyal follower, led a resistance and reinstated Caesars nephew onto the throne. We can’t just get rid of Dick Green, he need to get rid of his followers; the only way to do that would be to get information that could be used to malign him so he will have no more followers.
Jimmy: We will need to form a resistance.
Bob: Yes, we will have to gather all of the gamers that we know, to fight back. You will become the Charles De Gaulle of America.