Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about...an open letter.

THE PROMPT: ""What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.” ~ Liz Carpenter           Write a letter to someone you care about, maybe someone you wish to apologize to, maybe someone you miss."

I've had nearly 24 hours to ponder this prompt. I'll have another 24 to finish it. And I'm struggling.

I started writing a cop-out, thinking there's no way I can do this. Then it hit me. I'm writing an open letter to everyone that I haven't been able to contact or wanted to contact, for one reason or another. It's the next best thing to a cop-out. Here it goes...

Dear friends, acquaintances, and estranged souls,

You've all been placed in my life for one reason or another. I respect that, and in some cases even cherish that.

There are people I miss in life that I'd like the chance to talk to, but won't due to circumstances. Both sides are offended and are bullish enough to hold ground for sake of a grudge. I have no choice but to honor their feelings, as I have also been the same unwilling person that refuses to bend my beliefs just for the sake of continuing a relationship that wasn't heading in the right direction for myself or the other parties. I apologize for some of my behavior and actions, but I stand behind my decisions as being sound for the best interests of my own mental health. I am also aware that it takes two people to have a conversation, and while I haven't made the best of attempts at reaching out, at least I tried...and that's more than I can say about you.

There are others that, for one reason or another, time has come so far in-between that picking up just seems so awkward and almost senseless. To catch up would take so long that my excitement wouldn't even let me know where to begin. To wonder what's next makes me wonder what happened in the first place. And if I can't remember, then why bother? I'll just be skeptical about seeing you again in a week when it's been nearly 20 years since the last time I saw you. No offense. Just sayin'.

There are even some of you out there that I'd love to contact you just to know what you're up to and how much better your life is or isn't without me. But I know that would cause problems for a lot of people, and that would deflate my intent and just make things awkward for everyone.

I care about a lot of people, maybe so much to a fault. To the ones I see when we can, I hope you know this. To the ones that time's gotten the better of, know that I'm still here and I haven't forgotten. And know that it's better for me to keep my feelings about you to myself. When a door closes and nobody opens it, it turns into a wall. And walls are what I've got around me from it.

I just want to tell you all that I'm doing fine. I've got a great girl with a great family. You see the pics and statuses on Facebook. Maybe you read me. Maybe you kinda care. Maybe you think like I do, but you probably don't. And that's neither here nor there. If this letter was adressed to you, you received it because I was thinking about you, and that means you touched my life at some point. What you do with it is up to you...but I'm not waiting around. I've got no time for that, but I've got time to make the best of what I can out of this life. Thank you for taking the time to read this...my best to you all.

MUSICAL BREAK:

When I'm driving, I'm either listening to my iPod on shuffle or http://www.wgr550.com/. But when Jess the CWC picks me up, she's usually listening to this radio station out of Toronto, http://www.edge.ca/. I turned her on to them because they play such a better mix of music than Buffalo's leading Adult/Alternative station. Or so I thought.

They played the following song today on my way home from work, and I hadn't heard it in years. I even interrupted our conversation so I could turn it up and sing along...even though the song is easily 15 years old, it's one of those that takes me back to that time and place, enjoying it with the people around me. Yet another band that I'll owe DMFM a beer at the bar in heaven when this song comes on the jukebox, for turning me on to them.

Mind you, I hadn't heard this song in forever. When it was over, Jess the CWC was like, "Oh my God, they play this song all the time. I'm starting to get sick of it." Ultimate. Facepalm. Moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG4KnYSaLZw&ob=av2e

I'll never forget seeing these guys live, back in the day at LaSalle Park when Corporate Rock Suckage Radio http://www.wedg.com/ still actually played decent music and put on the yearly Edgefest concert. They played this song, and stopped halfway through the song because it was a hot day and some chick passed out. They scolded the crowd surfers, took a second, and picked the song right back up where they left off. A great moment in my concert history.

VITAL STATS:

About 100 views in three days when I've written nothing special. I expect over 1,000 for tomorrow's prompt, but if I told you what it was, you'd never click it. Just kidding...it's a good prompt. Should be interesting.

The final product doesn't convey it, but I'm emotionally taxed from that prompt today. So many conflicting thoughts and images...I really wanted to opt out, throw a few coins thataway, risk whatever chance I have of winning this, and turning in a "Thanks, but no thanks" entry. I was that worked up over it. I'm glad I was able to come up with something, but this tells me one thing: I'm taking this too seriously and too personally. I really hope I can have a lot of fun with the next couple of prompts. I feel like I need it.

Totally forgot that the lead singer of this long-defunct band was in town tonight doing a solo acoustic show. And of course, I left my phone at work and Jess the CWC had the car, and social networking failed me, so I missed the show. My boy Adam made it though, and I'm happy for him, but he said I didn't miss much. He'll fill me in on the bright tomorrow AM, and I'm excited for it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEbWEw_yvhM

I may be the only person in the world who has that song's chorus as their ringtone.

A SELECTION FROM THE RETAILING IDIOCY COLLECTION: According to a customer, one of my managers is a "F@#%ing IDIOT". Due to NY laws, if a pharmacist is not on duty, the pharmacy must remain closed, even if the store itself is open. A customer approached the manager and asked when it would be open, to which he responded, "About 15 minutes." The man then stated he just wanted to drop his script off, and he would just leave it. Mind you, our pharmacy is gated. And I don't mean "picket fence" gated. This is like mini-mechanical garage door gated. You're basically not getting in unless you're already in, and that gate isn't opening unless you're in and your key works. The manager told him that there was no one there to receive his script, and the man again said "I just want to leave it for them". But it doesn't work like that in NY...you're not forcing that little piece of paper under that metal gate, no way, no how. After another back-and-forth with the MGT, the guy just said "Never mind, you're a fucking idiot" and stomped along on his merry way. Needless to say, and I really like the guy, no matter what he did during the day, he was called a fucking idiot the rest of his shift. That was the start to a ribald day at the shop...

And a good place to end up for tonight. Even if you didn't find it funny, we did, and all that ensued after. But I've gotta get goin'. Gonna sort my head out a little and relax before I get up early for manual labor tomorrow. Peace to my girl and my people, peace to you taking time out of your day to read this, and peace to the people at RJ's for some damn nice pizza and wings tonight. GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdABlGoar9g