Down the Rabbit Hole

The Other Brother

I woke up this morning with an ache in my gut, a dull sorrow tugging at my waking conscious. He's is out there somewhere , I think in the dim light. The realization, always slumbering in the back of my mind, stirs a well of mixed feelings and I hug my sleeping daughter tighter into the curve of my body in the dark for comfort. When I sift through the anger and betrayal, I find the connection, unbroken, and I remember the face that occupies so many frames in my memory. It is hard to lose someone even though they were always lost somehow. Choices made can not be undone and even the passing of time will not heal certain wounds but neither will it fully erase the bonds, even the ones not forged in blood. I am angry and hurt but the thought that he may be out there, angry, hurt and alone is more painful. This is the ache in my heart, this is the hole in my spirit. How do you fix the unfixable? How do you forget the other brother?