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ROE 1: Article #2 - Nitrous Oxide: For Dentists & Dirigibles

NITROUS OXIDE: FOR DENTISTS AND DIRIGIBLES?

PROMPT: Nitrous Oxide Dirigibles


MAY 9, 1937.

MANCHESTER TOWNSHIP, NEW JERSEY – With the tragic crash of LZ 129 Hindenburg still fresh in our minds, there may already be hope for avoiding another such catastrophe in the future. The Hindenburg disaster, as previously reported, claimed the lives of thirteen passengers, twenty-two dirigible crew members, and one member of the ground crew, totaling thirty-six lives lost in all. The cause? No one can be sure of the inciting factors, but it’s clear that the Hindenburg’s hydrogen lifting gas ignited, burned up, and dropped the airship to the ground in an astonishing thirty-seven seconds.

Why would anyone use a combustible gas to inflate a passenger airship, one might ask? Well, helium – the more stable alternative – is expensive, firstly. And secondly, it’s only available in natural reserves in the good ol’ U.S. of A, and something tells this reporter that President Roosevelt isn’t too inclined to share anything with Fritz anytime soon.

Where does that leave us? Looking for alternatives. In the true American spirit of ingenuity, whenever there’s disaster, there’s inevitably someone who will stand up and say, “I have a better idea!” And that man with the better idea is Professor Chester Barclay. Though his professorship is largely ceremonial (that is, self-awarded), Barclay might just revolutionize the air travel industry by introducing nitrous oxide as the lifting gas.

Yes, you heard right. Nitrous oxide. The same “laughing gas” that you’re given at the dentist when it’s time to drill a cavity; the same “laughing gas” that you and your friends inhale at parties to induce disorientation, hallucinations, and euphoria. Can it really be used to lift an airship? Or is Barclay sampling a little too much of the product?

As it turns out, Barclay’s claims have merit. In addition to being used as an anesthetic, as an oxidizer in rocket motors, and as a party favor for you and your friends, nitrous oxide is lighter than air, which means it can float a balloon ... including a dirigible. And most importantly, it’s non-flammable, which means it can get you high, but it probably won’t burn you up.

Barclay is currently in the process of applying for a patent for his discovery. He hopes to retire off the proceeds of his invention, although he currently has no plans to travel by airship. Will his discovery catapult nitrous oxide into the mainstream as a legitimate resource, making air travel safer for everyone? It just might.

It seems that Professor Barclay may have just discovered a way to get high off nitrous oxide in more ways than one.



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