Defying Fortune

Revelate

((The Music))
I've mentioned this before, but I really dig The Frames. If we could claim a band for ourselves, I'd claim them. Since my trip has been planned for the summer, I checked to see if they would be playing in Ireland while I will be there. They'll be in Canada, damn it. But they're kick ass. Major kick ass, which is what I could use right now.

I chose "Revelate" because it dictates my mental state since I woke up this morning. Gritty, pain-filled, angry. A deep feeling of self-disgust and a need for a moment of peace.


((The Life))
What can I say? Today was bad. The biggest thing I accomplished was taking out the trash. Big, huh? I'm totally screwed. This moment I feel like I'm in purgatory, and purgatory is a bitch. The deep put of quicksand that traps you in by the ankles and doesn't want to let go.

I'm eating empanadas for dinner, contemplating what I'm going to do with what I need to do. I signed up for a class this Summer Semester. There are two more I'll be signing up for in the coming weeks, just need to gather the funds. Truly, I'm looking at the next few weeks as a form of penance for what I've done. I know, that sounds awfully Catholic of me, but since the guilt runs deep in my family.

Speaking of family, I've been thinking about my grandmother lately. She was a woman with a mind that far exceeded the times. She had a genius IQ that drove her slowly insane. She researched a theory obsessively for 13 years. When I was told about it, I was nine years old. I've kept that with me for years, wondering what she found. and if her hypothesis was correct. There was something to it. I would give almost anything to find out what it was.

In a way, I want to write her story. My time of turmoil leads me to want to tell the tale of what the gaps keep hidden. There is a story there. I want to make sense of it. Somehow I think I can figure out what's going on with me if I can tell her story correctly. It's crazy, but that's familial, so that's okay.

Can anyone spare a revelation?

My simple slant

My broken chant

My human fate

My revelate

Are you so far from me this day

That you can't say my revelate

My open arms

My lucky charm

Number eight my revelate

I fucked it up

I rest my case

It all to grey

My revelate

Sometimes I need a revelation

Cause sometimes it's all too hard to take

Sometimes I need a revelation

This time I'm making my own now

Does this mean we're though

Does this mean it's gone

Spent a day just to ponder the words

That I would write to you this day

But it's too great, my revelate

Sometimes I need a revelation

Sometimes its all too much to take

Sometimes I need a revelation

This time it's up in arms

This time I need you revelation

Cause sometimes it's all too much to take

This time I need you revelation

Cause sometimes it's easy just to hate you

Sometimes I need a revelation

Sometimes I,sometimes I,

Redeem yourself

Redeem yourself

Redeem yourself