Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins |
Life overtook (me) on the bus ride home today. Praying for less tension, and really wanting to separate from the constructs of daily living that erode innocence, (I) closed out the visions around (me) speaking only within. (I) meditated until (I) cried. Began to only accept the term, "this presence," referencing the unique self rather than state, "me" or "I." Wished for a time that I could continue that. Felt it was authentic, less ego-driven to state things outside of the context of what "I" wanted. Truly wanted to give myself over to the wholeness that senses no separation nor smallness -- impossible from the context of universal proportions! Came back to the day-to-day once arrived at the bus station. Took up conversation with a friendly acquaintance while waiting for the final bus home -- knew my desire to elude the use of "I" almost immediately dissolved. I did however, notice the smell of honeysuckle (possibly), or something light but distinctly fragrant in the air as I trudged the last block to my doorstep. I then also noticed how clear the night sky was -- that I could see the Orion constellation right over me -- and knew that I would never want to surrender myself to any prison where I could not freely step out to experience the smells of Spring emerging and study the night sky. |