The Undiscovered Country

A Whiny Entry. Beware.

With a friend in the hospital and the chances of survival dropping with every hour, how can I think of whining about my petty difficulties?

Maybe it's because we can only worry about things we can't control -- that it's ultimately in God's ever-capable (and incomprehensible) hands -- for so long before the tiny inconveniences of life intrude once again.

I wrote a few entries back that my novella, "A Reason to Hope" was chosen among four others to be the possible book of the month in the ACFW group on Yahoo. With three days to go, "A Reason to Hope" is running dead last with one vote: mine. Hell, at this rate I may as well delete it. What's zero votes compared to one?

But that would mean I no longer believe in the story, and that's far from the case. It's getting other people to believe in it that's the difficult -- and likely impossible -- part.

Do the lack of votes say my book sucks, or that the competition is that much better?

At the risk of sounding full of self-pity, I'm accustomed to coming in last that started in grade school. I don't like it, but I'm used to it. I doubt at these frustrating times I will ever make the top of anyone's list, or contest.

But then I must ask myself: Who does my writing belong to? God. Not me. Therefore what happens with it, after I've done all I can do is all up to him. If I come in last, it doesn't necessarily mean my story is worthless, but that God wanted the winner to win.

Once again, God is merely asking me to be patient. At the same time, though, it'd be nice to have some affirmation that I'm on the right track.

Which I did get, before you start typing on how silly I am and that my writing is indeed worthy of a little praise!

Since the contest began, someone did purchase my book through Smashwords, an ebook publisher. My first sale through them, which brings my total book sales up to 25. It's not much in comparison to many, but for me it's 25 more copies than I expected to sell. Especially considering I don't market as aggressively as I could.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to edit more of my other novel I plan on submitting to (and likely losing ) another contest.