The Absence of Wavelength

Carpe Something....

My life has been about squandered opportunities, not having the confidence to pull the trigger on decisions that would have ultimately impacted the outcome of my life. I look back at the wake of obstacles I’ve avoided and wonder how I managed to get this far, steering my life through the wreckage of lost chances.

Why do I just let life happen, rather than live it. I don’t interact with it, try to control it by turning down the shades. Don’t want the light to shine in. Don’t want my eyes to look out and see what I’m missing. Each new day is squandered indoors by the dim light of a tv screen or computer. By shuttering eyes that dare not see what little opportunity is left for me. I dare not reminisce on what I could have had, how I have not lived. Don’t want to spiral into deep regret.

Today. Today I live. For what little there is left for me, I scoop heaping handfuls into my mouth and savor every bite. If I have to look back at another day and see what I have failed to pursue, I will die another thousand deaths of self-pity and contempt. I do not blame anyone else for my misdirection anymore. My parents are both dead. My loving wife and darling children are blessings not obstacles to the future I can choose to have.

Let’s see how long I can live by this mantra. Seize the day! Carpe diem. Latin, latin, something, something. The End. Fin.


A poem that epitomizes my life long struggle, written when I was still a young man:

STATIC

🎨 Before I'm Rejected By You 🖌️  (E) Artist fears commit to subject.🥇WDC Hall of Fame Poem. 22,888 views. 77 reviews. TY #1152712 by ~Brian K Compton~

"One Little Word"