Work in Progress

Tune-Up

I was feeling a little off today - kind of foggy-headed and off-balance - from some combination fo high humidity, summer allergies and a freakishly low barometric pressure. Going to the gym was tough, but I knew that I had to do it. I'm not quite ready to skip a planned workout just yet; I'm too afraid I'll fall back my old negative pattern of just giving up. I won't let that happen.

It was tough getting started, especially with my new forward lunge-squat-rear lunge routing. I had a difficutl time focusing on my core to find my balance, but it did happen. I'm not sure exactly when - midway through a set somewhere, but I was breathing hard, starting to sweat and I got a much-needed adrenaline boost. I felt like my new, healthier self again...I even found my smile and my sense of humor. I will say that this is one workout where I absolutely needed my trainer there, encouraging and pushing me, especially at the beginning.

We started talking about how my body is a machine. When I walked in the door tonight, I was in desperate need of a tune-up. I felt almost like a car who's engine won't turn over. It took some TLC and some hard work, but my engine fired up and I felt better. Two months ago, a day like today would have been the begining of the end. Today, it was yet another new beginning. I discovered (again) how healing exercise is. My engine was purring by the time I left and I felt one hundred percent better.

That doesn't mean that it was an easy workout. It was one of the toughest ones yet and I really had to keep digging deep to find what I needed to keep moving. I am so glad that I was able to do it.

My newest workout is completely new and very, very challenging. Many of the exercises are completely new (like Tai Bo Butt - yowza!) so I'm not quite comfortable with them yet, but I'll get there. I feel like I'm making progress already...and I'm more than halfway to my two week running goal of twelve minutes.

Speaking of goals...I need to start rewarding myself when I achieve them....to date, I've completed four goals. Now I need to figure out just what I want to treat myself to...a mani/pedi to start...maybe a facial (it's been years!)...a massage...things that make me feel good and the reinforce the self-care that I am working so hard on.

At this point, I know for certain that working out is one of the best gifts I can give myself. It's energizing, empowering and yes, healing. The gym is actually begining to feel like some kind of private sanctuary. There's an odd feeling of comfort there (strange for a place that often leaves me aching)...it kind of feels like home. Strange but true. Maybe it's because I associate it with so much personal success...maybe it's the faces that I see every night...no one talks much but they bring a positive energy (which I hope I add to). It may not always be easy to walk in the door, but I always leave feeling stronger and better than I did when I entered.