Work in Progress

Changing Things Up

I knew it was coming. I was actually looking forward to it. But the reality of a whole new program this week was tougher than I imagined. Tuesday's workout was, without a doubt, the most intense and challenging so far. A punishing circuit for the legs - dead lifts, squats, reverse lunges, plie squats and step ups - done three times (and I know that I will eventually do five!) followed by some new upper body exercises. It was painful. It pushed me beyond what I thought I could do. But I did it. And about half-way through, I started to get that how-familiar exhausted yet exhilarated feeling. I can almost feel the endorphins zooming around my brain and I'm beginning to really like that feeling. Gulp. I think I'm addicted. I didn't expect that.

I used to see exercise as a necessary evil, a means to an end. For the first time, I think I really understand why people do crazy things like run marathons. Exercise makes be feel good and it makes me feel good about myself. But it goes deeper than that. I feel strong, powerful, empowered. I feel confident. I want to test myself and push myself outside of my comfort zone. I love the way those victories feel.

When I was done my first lower body circuit the other night, I happened to make eye contact with one of the guys working out nearby. I was sweating profusely, breathing hard and probably red in the face. But as I took a few swigs of water, he gave me a 'thumbs up'. That simple gesture helped me push through the next two circuits. I'm very proud of what I am doing, but that little bit of validation from a stranger really made my night. The thumbs up told me that I was doing a good job, that I should be proud of how hard I was working, that every drop of sweat was worth the effort. I'll remember that next time I need a little push to keep going.

In fact, I used it last night. My legs were very sore yesterday (they still are, actually) and the first few minutes on the Arc Trainer just felt miserable. I was tempted to give up but I took a few deep breathes and just kept going. It still hurt like hell, but I made through the entire thirty minutes and I was able to do my usual abdominals.

I workout with April tonight. I'm still very sore, but I know that I will do what I need to do. I am one hundred percent committed to this process because I already know that it is working. It is a challenge that I am eager to take.