The Five Strands of A Sedentary Empress

I want

I took my PMS'ing self to the family room and tried to watch 'The Secret'. I knew it wasn't the right time to watch it, given my horrid mood and extreme fatigue, but it was due back at the library today and M. was mildly interested in watching it. He scampered down to the family room while I wordlessly scowled my way down the staircase, thumping each step with purpose. Then, I curled up in a blanket and found myself only partially committed to it, while the eye-crossing power of sleep rolled over me. I did fall asleep, somewhere near the end, at which time M. called over to me to see if I'd had enough of it. I told him I got the main points, but that I couldn't hold on any longer. I needed bed.

'The Secret' (I really, really loathe that title), is actually common sense. Do I believe it? Yes, I do, actually. The trouble with this secret is that no one tells you how to shed the cynical armour that encapsulates the body, allowing you to focus on the positive instead of ruminating and shaking your head in disapproval. I've benefitted from the power of positive thought on occasion, but I'm mostly a cautious/second-guessing kind of person, so when something I want doesn't happen, I automatically think that positivity is for suckers. The thing is, though, that I know the power of positivity works. Every positive person I know just seems to have success upon success and instead of feeling jealous of them, I should probably be studying them for tips.

I can't wrap my brain around envisioning material wealth, though. It seems so capitalistic and cold, almost as though it doesn't deserve reward. Maybe that's why I never have any money? Hmmm...

The dvd said that it would be prudent to put out into the universe what you want, and that putting out negativity will only bring it back to you. I suppose that makes sense. So, I guess I need to project into the cosmos that which I feel would make me happy, no?

Okay Universe, here's the deal:

*I want some personal wealth. I want about $100,000 in the next thirty days, and no, I don't know how you're going to bring it to me, but I want it, so get on it.

*I want to lose twenty pounds and be healthy and toned as a result.

*I want a professional goal which is realistic.

*I want a job I love.

*Or, if the job doesn't pan out, how about a really interesting training course?

*I want good skin cream.

*I want new clothes and shoes.

*I want to feel steady, emotionally, and I want to wake each morning with a bounce in my step.

*I want new things for the house:curtains, garden furniture, ceiling fan/light for kitchen, new doors, a finished basement, a new pullout couch and a renovation of the kitchen which will result in more counterspace.

*A trip to Paris!

*Equilibrium in my guts.

*A garden that can only be descibed as breathtaking.

*Multiple orgasms?

*The perfect dinner.

*A new friend.

*To fall in love with a new book.

*To discover the recipe to the best cookie on the planet.

*A new hairstyle which actually makes me look like I've always aspired to look.

*To write something I'm proud of and someone say it's worth reading.

That's about it, Universe. I know you're busy, but I'm trying out some new philosophies down here and would really appreciate a little bit of positive feedback. From what I understand, this is all I have to do: Ask, Believe and Receive.

Okay, first one's down. I'll work on the second one, and the third is entirely up to you.