The Five Strands of A Sedentary Empress

Touchy

Day three million of the same cold/flu/irritability and general malaise.

Have I mentioned that I've been corresponding with a fellow site member who decided to review one of my poems and that we've spent four days bickering back and forth about the use of certain words in the English language? We have been very polite, but the tone is unmistakable, each of us certain we are right and both refusing to give in to the other. While I'm usually okay with people critiquing the way I write, especially if it is a black and white issue like spelling, the way this person has been corresponding comes off as condescending and sanctimonious, though I'm not sure this is the intent. It could be a difference of education ( ...hardly any of my (postgraduate) literary readers and critics pass me such comments), or could even be cultural, as the reviewer indicated that he lives abroad and that English is not his primary language. Now, it's clear that this person has spent a great deal of time studying the mechanics of the written English language, but the way he writes, the minutiae and the intricacy is unlike anything I've read here before. Even the review itself, though obviously written with great care, made me feel as though I needed a map to arrive at the final word. So, I responded by mentioning as much, that it seemed as though it was written with a thesaurus on hand, and that I appreciated the critique, but I really prefer a 'less is more' approach so that I can get to the meat of it straight away. I then ended it with a 'lol' for good measure, because I don't take myself that seriously, and frankly, I don't take him that seriously either.

The response was as long as my arm, with phrases like 'Now, I understand your difficulty with my writing: You found it "flowery", perhaps laden with too many uncommon words for your easy reading and understanding', and 'Incidentally, only few words in the latter portion that gave you difficulty can really be considered too "uncommon" for a general audience's understanding. Perhaps words like "celebrativeness" , "intellectuality”, “culmination” or "commemorativeness", which you won't usually find in a thesaurus...' Umm...celebrativeness? Also, does it seem reasonable to assume that I wouldn't understand the other words he mentioned without looking them up? Seriously? Who does this guy think he is?

This went on for a couple days, and then I simmered down. For the record, I don't care what kind of diploma a person may have, if the way they write is flat and uninspiring, no amount of 'magna cum what-have-you' is going to attract a readership. Maybe this is me being defensive, but I am also a reader, a person with preferences, and I have a decent idea of what makes good writing. When I mentioned this whole debacle to M. he laughed and told me that this is the way it is in university, with people all throwing their opinions and criticisms at one another and you just have to be a grown-up and accept it. I have come to know this from reading Grim's journal, often wondering how he tolerates people picking his work apart as they do, but my problem had little do with accepting the hard words of another wannabe writer. It had more to do with the fact that I didn't appreciate his writing style, that I was having to read impossibly long emails about where I fell short in my writing from someone who couldn't spit it out in one, clean sentence. What about the mots juste? Isn't it possible that any criticism he might have had was rooted more in a difference of style than of mechanics?

So, I reviewed one of his short stories, which he had requested I do more than once. I read it, I was as objective as possible, and I found loads of issues (my opinion) which I went through, point by point, and I even offered suggestions for each one. The story itself was interesting, but it was almost lost under the weight of unnecessary words and endless sentences. Take the line 'The irritating flight delays, the comparatively crude and raw airline services, the unappetizing and hungering food and drink served on board, and the drab, half-civilised social atmosphere inside the generality of the transitional airplanes we boarded.' How can a food hunger? Aren't crude and raw the same thing, making it unnecessary to include both? So, I made suggestions, I wished him well, and I forgot about it.

Then today, the saga continued with a long responding email which made my head hurt. Take, if you will, the following response to my questionning the use of raw and crude to describe the same thing.


“Raw” and “crude” are certainly synonyms but “crude” is “coarser” than “rude”, and both words cannot therefore be used interchangeably. For instance, “raw” food is food “not prepared for use AS FOOD by the action of heat, uncooked” (Oxford Dictionary), whereas “crude” oil is oil “not changed by ANY process or preparation” (ibid). What is raw might have undergone some change towards ultimate refinement ( only it has not been prepared AS FOOD), e.g, raw rice or beans, which are no longer within their natural coverings; but what is crude has undergone NO SUCH change. Thus, the writer saw some of the airline services as completely lacking in refinement (crude), while others were not completely so, though they were quite unrefined.

Really? I mean, really?

My problem is that I don't know if I'm being unreasonable with my frustration. Is this not a forum which encourages interaction and debate about writing? Shouldn't I be nodding my head and responding with a more learned approach which would include patience, understanding and the ability to comprehend another's point of view? Am I being rigid? Controlling? Thick as a brick?

Why am I even writing about this? Will it matter one iota to him that I didn't think his work was aces? Does it matter that he didn't like mine?

What it comes to is that I like to be appreciated. I want to know that I am passable as someone who loves writing. Maybe the inadvertant condescension on his part (I actually do think it was not his intention to come off as pompous), made me feel inferior, perhaps unknowledgable. Doesn't that make it my fault, that I was so sensitive that I misinterpreted what might have only been sincerity? Maybe I am immature for not being able to conduct a simple exchange of ideas without getting tense about it. That kind of makes it my problem, rather than his.

I am sensitive lately, that's true. I am tired of scrambling mentally to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I went to a lecture about health care job opportunities this morning and essentially learned that nearly everything requires certification of some kind. I came home feeling useless, overwhelmed and uncertain about my next move. Time is running out. M is beginning to complain about money and the shortage of it around here and that stresses me more than anything. I know, I know, I know. I should be working, but so far, there have been no responses to resumes. I am taking a computer class, seeing an employment counsellor, have tweaked my resume, am applying for positions which seem attainable and nothing is happening. I am worrying and I am sick and I am in no mood to receive reviews from people who insist on debating over stupid, pointless things. One minute M. is the most supportive individual I've ever known, and the next he is coming at me with his exasperation over the interest accrued on our loan. What am I supposed to do? Sell a kidney to cover it?

I'm so worried at the moment. Every nerve ending is exposed.

To the fellow who I refer to in this entry, the dictionary-happy reviewer, pay no attention to me. You only ruffled my feathers because I am a chicken. I am running in circles looking for a way to fly and I am unable. You might also say that I am raw and crude and I won't try to point out the obvious.