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Rated: 13+ · Book · Activity · #1500483
Items written for the various flash fiction challenges, whenever the muse strikes.
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#631855 added January 25, 2009 at 11:27am
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Two Planned Suprises on One Anniversary.
         Naman whistled the same tune he always did when he felt happy. He juggled the large cellophane encased bouquet, the Westside bag that shouted “high priced goodies inside!” and his briefcase; he reached into his back pocket for his house keys and jabbed an impatient finger at the lift call button.

         It was already 6.45 P.M. and he wanted to get things ready before Leena arrived at 7.00 P.M. She was so sure he had forgotten their anniversary,; he had been careful to ignore her floral decorations on the breakfast, the rose by his plate. He had managed to ‘overlook’ the card propped on his pillow too; a deft flick having sent it under the bed as he pretended to grope for his glasses. A charade of early meetings and late talks had got him out of the door even as her eyes glistened in tearful despair.

         He had spent the day rushing through his work and leaving mid-afternoon to plan the surprise. Flowers were the first item; a bouquet with in a filigree holder shaped like a number seven.Then a gold bracelet with seven intertwined strands of pure gold, white gold, copper, silver, and god knows what else. He had ordered it specially made a week ago.

         The green numbers flashed above his head 11 – 10 – 9 – 8 – it stopped. Naman glanced at his watch, must be the Khanna kids going to tuition. Then it started again, only to stop gain at the next floor. The ‘7’ kept flashing for an interminable time.

         Uh-oh! Mrs Khambaitwala has cornered the lift-man again. She must be giving him a list of things to do, Sham-poo’s leash for his evening walk, and an interminable tirade against all the rest of us. Might as well walk.

         He took the first flight two steps at a time, the second more judiciously; the third was taken like an asthmatic at high altitude. He paused for breath as he climbed the last on sheer will-power, vowing to cut his weight as Leena always nagged him to.

         He made his triumphant entry into a silent house as the clock chimed seven. He set out the velvet jewelery case, the flowers and gave himself a lick and a promise with a damp cloth to suffice as ‘freshening up’. He had given up his evening shower years ago, preferring to relax with a drink instead. I’ll just slather on more of the deodorant.

         She should have been home by now; his wife was the essence of predictability. Her hair neat and tucked into a coy bun, her face fresh and shining even in the evenings; her voice soft and modulated, her food arranged and turned out ‘just so’. So boring, I’d like her screech at me like that feisty newly-wed downstairs. Even if all she screeches are obscenities.

         His thumb flickered over his mobile keypad, it keyed in L-E-E, his code for her number. The ring tune was strangely familiar; he found himself humming along. She’s changed her ring tone

         There was no answer. He swore as he dialed her office; the expected no response, they shut at six.

         He was just about to phone her brother when the home land-line trilled. He picked it up in one swift scoop of apprehension admixed with anger.
“Hello-ji,” her soft voice once sent a tremor of desire through him; today, as in recent years, it just fanned his ire.

         “Where are you? Do you know how long I have been waiting for you?”

         It had been one wait of fifteen minutes, compared to her periodic night-long vigils when he binged, but Leena did not mention that.

         “I’m just calling to say I have ...” The phone crackled.

         “...Itch... remedied it..”

         “What’s that, have you an allergy? I’m waiting at home with a surprise. Happy Anniversary!”

         “Thank you Ji. It is a happy day.I said I found myself with a seven-year itch and I have remedied it.

         His voice was indignant roar at thwarted plans and anticipated humiliation.

         “How dare you? Don’t I give you all that you want?”

         “What I wanted was a hug or a loving wish; instead you have an elaborate and probably expensive surprise. Too little, too late.I knew this morning that I deserved someone who appreciated me.I met him again about two months ago.”

          The Lion was now more a cunning fox, he wheedled as his voice took on a pleading note, "whatever happened, come home and let's talk. I even had something made especially for you.."

         She went on as if she had not heard him, her measured words were like bells of warning.

         “I am now leaving with Sameer, he was my boy-friend before I ever met you. I have known him since grade 7; he understands me as you never did. We will go where you cannot follow – overseas. Oh, incidentally, I’m pregnant.”

         Click.

         He dialed her mobile again, nearly digging his thumb through the keypad. The tune went on and on. What was it?

“          Papa jaldi aa jaa na...saat samunder par ke,,...”

         The tinny voice crooned, “father, please come home soon, over the seven seas...”

         The phone shattered as it was thrown against the wall, some quirk of electronics made the song audible in screechy tones. Naman clutched his head and sank to his knees, muttering “it was a surprise.”

         The land-line trilled again and hope burgeoned in Naman’s breast.

         She’s going to apologize. I know it.

         It was his mother. Her thin reedy voice almost commanded him, “Happy Anniversary, son!When is Bahu going to give me the good news?”

871 words.

Author’s notes:

Traditionally, a Hindu wife does not address her husband by name. She suffixes a respectful ‘Ji” to all her remarks instead.
Bahu: daughter-in-law
‘Good news’ is an euphemism for announcing a pregnancy. To a mother-in-law the potential carrying on of the line is ‘good news’ indeed.

Written for Writer's Cramp Seventh Anniversary.

Write a STORY or POEM about a married couple celebrating their seventh wedding anniversary. The story/poem can be of any genre, any plot, but it MUST be about a seventh wedding anniversary, and it MUST include the number seven/7 -- SEVEN times. Bold the numbers (you may use the word seven or the number 7) to make it easier for the judge to find and count the seven uses of the number seven. And be creative with your use of the number seven -- don't just repeat it over and over. The more creative, the better chance you have to win!


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BEST REVIEW EVER!!!

I appreciate you so much right now.  Most the reviews I receive are like "bla bla good story bla", but yours wasn't, thus you deserve this.

Have a great day and keep up the great reviews.  I will try to make reviews as detailed and constructive as yours now.



** Image ID #1358425 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1347727 Unavailable **
Merit Badge in Ghost
[Click For More Info]

Thanks for participating in the Review Ghouls. You were spook-tastic! Merit Badge in Family
[Click For More Info]

For "Just-in-Time-Jitesh
1st place in Beyond the Water's Edge Merit Badge in Romance
[Click For More Info]

Congrats! You got an honarable mention! *^*Laugh*^* 

Keep that pen and ink a-flowing! ASH
Merit Badge in Inner Beauty
[Click For More Info]

For A Tender Loving Soul whose own words fill my heart. Merit Badge in Campfires
[Click For More Info]

Thank you for your participation in  [Link To Item #1261045] 's Mystery Campfire! *^*Smile*^*
Merit Badge in Editing
[Click For More Info]

BEST REVIEW EVER!!!

I appreciate you so much right now.  Most the reviews I receive are like "bla bla good story bla", but yours wasn't, thus you deserve this.

Have a great day and keep up the great reviews.  I will try to make reviews as detailed and constructive as yours now.
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