.:Dreams and Swords:.

One More For The Road

Its amazing really how things can turn on a person. Here it is 1:41 in the morning on the first day of the New Year, and all I've got to write is the "woe-is-me" blues. I'd like to think that there's a purpose here to this entry in the end, however, I imagine it will be anything but.

I found myself tonight sitting slightly hunched over in my bed, staring up at my hideous popcorn ceiling, and realizing just how alone I am. All the people I love are partying it hardy or sleeping peacefully. I had been talking with someone on the phone, but that person too fell to the lullaby of slumber. As I sat there with a silent phone pressed to my ear some stupid ass tears began falling down my face. So, naturally, I started laughing silently to myself.

I'd like to think that everyone experiences acts complete and utter loneliness. I've had my fair share of that this past little while. I have come to a stand still in my life as the others around me have moved forward onto more important things, and I couldn't be happier or more proud. But, at the same time, I feel like the girl in a prom dress who just realized she'd been ditched for a cooler, sexier girl for the dance.

Logic says move forward as well. However, in this case I feel the need to tell logic to shove it. Forcing change for idiotic reasons such as feeling alone is reckless, absurd, and dangerous depending on your luck. Yes, I am alone and slightly tearful wishing for things that will most likely not happen. But it will fade given enough time, and there's no need running off that cliff when the others have a bridge to catch them.

"What's the point of the title then, Lady?"

Good question.

After watching the clock click over from one year to the next, I let my mind off the leash so as not to let the depressing moment get to me. Two songs came into view - "Hey There Lonely Girl" by Eddie Holman of The Delfonics and "One For My Baby (One More For The Road)" by Frank Sinatra. I excluded first as being too upbeat, leaving me to running the lyrics of the later through my head like a jukebox.

I imagined myself in a smoky joint, sitting at the bar with a half empty glass of whiskey in my hand. The place is mostly empty as the well-wishers of the new year have gone off to more festive locals. Joe the Bartender is drying off a glass with an extra towel slung over his shoulder. He gives me a nod as if sensing the gloomy mood. I nod back with a horrible excuse for a smile, thinking of someone I wish I could be with only to find myself alone once again.

Suddenly, the jukebox in the corner kicks on. A regular drunk has gotten into a musical mood deciding that Ol' Blue Eyes will help cure his troubles. The bare, lazy notes of the piano introduce the dark tone. I close my sad, tired eyes and sigh, absorbing the words that seem to mimic too much of reality not to be taken seriously.

Its quarter to three,
Theres no one in the place 'cept you and me
So set 'em up Joe
I got a little story I think you oughtta know

Were drinking my friend
To the end of a brief episode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

I know the routine
Put another nickel in that there machine
I'm feeling so bad
Wont you make the music easy and sad

I could tell you a lot
But you gotta to be true to your code
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

You'd never know it
But buddy I'm a kind of poet
And Ive got a lot of things I wanna say
And if I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till its all, all talked away

Well, thats how it goes
And Joe I know you're gettin' anxious to close
So thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear

But this torch that I found
Its gotta be drowned
Or it soon might explode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

Now I find myself in front of my computer, wondering where in the world has time gone. Now I raise my proverbial glass in the air for my second (and last) toast of the evening. For the lonely ones out there. Here's to one more for the road.