.:Dreams and Swords:.

Last Words of 2008

The year of 2008 is slowly but surely coming to a close.

This is one of those times that I wished I had something momentous to say to the world. Hell, even to myself. Time flies by way too fast when you least expect it, but has a tendency to slow down to molasses when it gets in a mood. I've experienced a bit of both, but I do not regret a minute of it for I have come to learn my things about this year.

Surprised was I to find out I am capable of the love I never thought would reach me.

Through one major slip of the keyboard, I found a man who makes me smile just thinking about him. If this relationship should stretch beyond my furtherest dream or should slowly fade away, I know my love for him will forever be in my heart. He is my best friend, and I am everyday thankful to be given granted such a blessing of knowing him.

Betrayal by someone you once thought of as a hero is bittersweet pill to swallow. There are times when looking up to someone in admiration, you can forget how human they are. He is my blood, he is my family, and even through all the anger and hurt I pray he will come back one day.

My love for learning should not be clouded by my degree. If I ever needed a reminder of that, I got it this year. Learning is far more important than getting a stupid ass piece of paper declaring what I've known for a long time. There are millions of people in this world smart and brilliant and are cut down for attempting to get a degree. It is a momentous achievement, but it does not define us as people. As Joesph Campbell once said, "Follow your bliss."

The two sacks of muscle known as lungs will always be my Achilles' Heel. However, they are mine and I will not let them rule my life. I will not each breath granted, nor will I let them stop me from doing what I need to do. I am above my illnesses. I am beyond each of my scars, everything bit of damage ever inflicted on my body, every flaw that marks my skin. I am beautiful in my hideousness.

There are no New Year's resolutions this year. More times than not they resolutions haven't been met, and I have come to understand I do not believe in promises or hold expectations. But, I do have goals for 2009 - things of which I pray I can achieve.

~Help and encourage others more~
~Spend more time reading books~
~Write something, anything, everyday of the coming year~
~Be able to look at myself in the mirror without loathing~
~Finish my green book~
~Smile more, laugh often~

So, my dear friends, I wish you and your's a Happy New Year. *raises glass in salute*

To a prosperous 2009.