Life's Funny That Way

Talkng to Myself

“Okay, are you ready to listen to reason?” Me Now asks

“What do you know?  You don’t know me.  You don’t know what’s best for me!” Me Then yells back.

“Actually, young lady, I am you.” Me Now returns defiantly.  “And you are going to sit there and you are going to listen to me!”

Me Then just rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair.  She was one to find out through trial and error rather than listen to someone who might just know what they were talking about.  Then again, Me Then would never have become Me Now if she would have listened.

“Here’s the deal.  School is important, okay?  You can do this the easy way, or you can do it the hard way.  Keep doing well in high school and you can write your own ticket to the college of your choice.  You know you’re college material, and you’re going to go at some point.  Why not take the free ride?”

“Did you ever think maybe I don’t want the free ride?  Did you ever think maybe I don’t give a s*** about the free ride?  Don’t you old people always say that the only way you appreciate something is by working for it?”  Me Then crosses her arms and looks away – a closed posture typical for her.

“You’re twisting my words.  Don’t you get anything?  Are you that thick?  Do you realize what your education is going to cost you when you decide to go back and get your degree online when you’re in your thirties?”

“Online?  What is that supposed to mean?”

“You will eventually go back to college.  You’ll get your MBA, and you’ll do it all on the computer… but it’s going to cost you, and cost you big!  If you keep your s*** together now, you can get a scholarship.  You know you can!  Why do you have to be so defiant all the time?”

“On the computer?  What do you mean?”  Me Then’s voice softened somewhat.  She was actually showing interest.  Amazing.

“Well, the Internet is pretty cool.  In the next few years you’ll be able to do anything with it.  Shopping.  School.  Work.  Anything you want.”

“Sounds great to me,” Me Then scoffed.  “So I’ll never have to deal with stupid people anymore?  I won’t have to leave my house and deal with all of the ignorance out there?”

“Come on.” Me Now pleaded.  “You don’t really mean that.  People aren’t so bad.”

“You don’t get out much, do you?” The attitude was back.  “Besides, you know I hate school.  I don’t give a crap what my I.Q. is.  I don’t give a crap how easy school is for me.  It’s boring.  And I hate it.  I hate everyone in that school.  They’re ignorant and they’ve all got way too much drama in their lives.  And it’s all senseless, stupid crap.  It won’t mean anything to them in a couple years, and they just can’t get that through their heads.  I can’t even stand being in the same room with most of them.  Sorry, college isn’t for me.  Not now.  I need a break from all of this crap.  I’m just going to work for a while.”
“Well, I wish things were different,” Me Now conceded.  “But I guess you’re right. “  The stifled, locked-in feeling I felt then was coming back to me.  “I guess you know what’s best for you right now.  I’m just trying to help.”

“Dually noted.  Can I go now?” Me Then rose to leave.

“Sure.  See you in twenty years.”


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