Snow Melt

Day 10: My Own Worst Enemy

everyone has a story of the one that got away

I’m my own worst enemy! I sabotage my own projects. I let opportunity slip away out of fear, low self-esteem, procrastination or focusing on the worst-case scenario, which opportunity do I write about. I don’t think it really matters which opportunity I chose to discuss because the reasons they got away are almost always the same.

I have to admit, that I would like to blame others for my failures, but that isn’t possible. I’m an adult. I’m the one who sabotaged myself. I’m the one who let fear get in the way. I’m sixty-one going on sixty-two and I’m responsible for my own actions, my own emotions and my own reactions.

I suspect the basic issue is that I don’t push myself hard enough. I don’t go beyond the wall of I’ve built around me. I look at the worst-case outcomes and I’m paralyzed. I don’t look around to see if there are other outcomes visible or peeking over the tops of those I focus on. It could be that I’m too hard on myself, I don’t know.

The one thing I am sure of, that ever since my sixtieth birthday I’ve faced issues I never dealt with when I was younger. I know that these issues played a part in letting opportunities get away. I think what I need to do is take each issue and deal with it as soon as possible, put it behind me and then get on with the rest of my life.

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