Lani's Blog

December 8th prompt: What is my greatest frustration?

December 8th prompt: What is my greatest frustration and how do I handle it?





You mean besides not being able to write the Greatest American Novel in my free time? My greatest frustration is dealing with my Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD. It is the root of my other problems, issues and frustrations. It's why you'll never be invited spontaneously to my home. I have to make sure I hide the stacks of dirty clothes or  vacuum dusty bunnies the size of real bunnies. ADD is why I can't stick to a diet or exercise plan. They're boring and there is always something else more interesting to do. Why I am never on time. I'm not rude but WDC sometimes is more interesting than remembering to get ready for appointments





For the record ADD/ADHD is usually the result of neurobiological differences in the parts of the brain associated with attention, impulsive control, and the “executive functions” – higher-order, self-controlling cognitive functions that guide an individual’s thoughts, emotions, and actions.





It would be semi okay if I looked the part, but I do not. I am not Chatty Kathy or Wandering Wilma. I am the quiet space cadet in the back of the class room. I used blurt out wrong answer because I was daydreaming. I got the report cards that said, "Not applying herself to the class." or "Tries hard but needs to pay better attention." Even now in meetings at work, I take notes to help me pay attention. I don't recommend this strategy though, as I have been elected as committee secretary twice.





I was tested and the doctor called it "executive function dysfunction." Even my ADD in not quite normal. Right now am trying different ADD meds to find something that helps.





What I find the most frustrating is that feeling of I am not normal or not good enough. That no matter what I achieve it will never be enough. I will alway be on the outside looking in. What I have realized finally is that almost everyone feels like that - on the outside looking in. If everyone feels that way, then there is no outside. Everyone is together. We are all God's children. I am as He made me and He loves as I am. Feelings don't change that.





P.S. Repeat that 6 x day til its true in my mind


Yes this is me handling it.