Who Am I?

frustration-aka falling apart and nowhere to go

October 20, 2008

I'm copying and pasting what I wrote at my adhd online support group...I don't have the energy and emotional ability to rewrite it all.

ignore the blue lines if they show up...it's from copying and pasting...they have it where you can click on certain words and it will take you to advertising or whatever.

I've been in a few times...but not a lot.  My life is crazy and sometimes I don't know wheher I'm coming or going.

To give some background info--my 5 year old son Jamie was diagnosed with ADHD, primarily hyperactive and impulsive in June of this year.  He was started on adderall xr 5mg then upped to 10mg.  At first it was amazing...focus and playing with his toys and starting to make friends and being a happy energetic little boy.  School started, and so far no issues in the classroom which I find amazing.  Then out of the blue he started having 6-8 meltdowns a day..big ones...just crying and screaming..but we couldn't refocus him, couldn't reason with him, ignoring it didn't stop it...it just had to run its course.  This went on for a couple of weeks and then had an appt with the psychiatrist--who changed his meds.  Jamie sees a therapist, a psychiatrist, and has a case manager...yet I get very little support--as far as ideas for working with him, when to intervene in his interactions with other kids (so as to prevent outbursts and violence) etc. 

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago, when we were in the psych's office he changed his med from the adderall 10 mg xr to focalinxr 5mg for two weeks then upped it to focalin xr 10mg.  At first, it was amazing.  The meltdowns stopped and he was focused.  Then, I started noticing things.  Before diagnosis he would make noises with his mouth...a lot.  That started up again when it had been gone on the adderall...and if you ask Jamie why he will tell you it makes him happy.  His appetite is down...he's only 45.5 lbs...and like 45 inches tall...and in the afternoons we have no focus and bounce of the walls and is really loud.  Now about 2 weeks ago or a little less, he started getting very emotional.  Not like the meltdowns (which could happen because he didn't get his way or because his shoes felt funny or because things didn't go the way he thought they would)  This is usually because he gets his feelings hurt or something isn't done the way he wants ...he's sad.  A lot.  And it breaks my heart. 

Today he had an appt with the psych again. I'm not happy where we are...but I dont' know where to turn.  They weighed Jamie and said he was teh same weight and we need to watch his appetite.  Then we discussed all the changes.  The psychiatrist believes the sadness is not a major depression but a side affect of the medication...yet in order to get us through the evenings he has prescribed a booster dose of 5mg focalin xr.  He says that he could try him on Tenex instead of focalin but Tenex does nothign for focus...just for the impulsivity and hyperactivity.  And that it has contra indications for low blood pressure and that jamie's blood pressure was low the first time he took it. 

I want him off the focalin if it's causing sadness not add more....Tenex scares me....becasue of the heart issue...and the sadness concerned the psych.  I just dn't know what to do anymore...I don't know where else to take him--don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire

I think that tomorrow he will be going off meds until I get this figured out.  I don't feel like it's fair to him to give him no focus at school but I also don't like him being sad all the time...he's always been such a happy little guy.  I can't exchange one for the other...it's not flipping fair to him.



Suggestions welcome

Vicky