A Case for Super Powers

That's Right, Press the Feeder Bar

So, first of all, Cracked said it a whole lot better than I could:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16677_6-most-obnoxious-unavoidable-facebook-group...

I think the one that bothers me most is #3...a particular branch of which is "feed a child with just a click!"

This is a group I actually found. Now, admittedly, the group just gives a list of links to websites where you can donate with "just a click", but the problem here is that websites like that turn feeding starving children into some kind of laboratory experiment. Presumably there is some person out there, who set up such a website, who has the means to feed millions of starving children. But he will ONLY DO SO IF YOU CLICK A LINK!

You are forced to imagine Batman breaking down his door and exclaiming (or rasping, if you're a Christian Bale fan) "what are you really up to?"

Why the hell can't this guy just SEND THE FUCKING FOOD??

You really have to wonder what these starving children were to think if they saw the website.

"Hey, umm...I get that you're trying to make people aware and everything, but...can't you find a way to raise awareness that DOESN'T serve as a condition on our being fed? I mean, if I had the internet, I'd be clicking those damn links like nobody's business. I mean, you could just brag to the whole world every day about how you feed starving children, and shame them into doing so, too. You'd be a big ol' douchebag, but...well...you kind of are, anyway."

Honestly, the more I think about things like this, the more I imagine them as some strange supervillain plot, like the old chestnut of forcing the hero to choose who he saves. Or like telling two possible mothers of a child that you're going to cut the kid in half and give a half to each of them, tricking them into revealing who the real mother is.

What's that? That wasn't a supervillain? It was a biblical king renowned for his wisdom?

Wow.

Really reveals something about how we judge wisdom. But I digress.

For every comment that I receive, I will feed a hungry person.


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*EDIT FOR ASININITY*


I recently discovered another Facebook group: Light a million candles (anti-child-porn)

Well it's about time somebody finally said "I don't give a damn how unpopular it makes me, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that child porn is bad!"