Amygdalia's Blog

Vidui

In lieu of attending Yom Kippur services this morning (which, despite the strides I’ve made toward overcoming internal struggles to accomplish tasks that seem overwhelming, I cannot bring myself to do with Jacob in tow) I’ve decided to work on my own personal Vidui.  Since Judaism is a very personal thing for me, I think this will work well.

I’m sorry for not being the friend, mother, partner and support that I’ve wanted to over the past year.  I’m sorry for the times when I allowed my own personal struggles to prevent me from being the person I want to be.  I’m sorry for shutting down in the face of overwhelming circumstances, rather than working to overcome them.  I’m sorry for the excuses I provided, in order to remove myself from certain responsibilities.  I’m sorry for the words I used which caused pain to others.  I’m sorry for putting my wants ahead of the needs of others.  I’m sorry for becoming frustrated by the needs of others.  I’m sorry for allowing my world view to become so small that I lost focus of how I could support the larger world. 

In the coming year, I hope to continue to work on becoming the friend, mother, partner and support that those in my life deserve.  In the coming year, I hope to stay focused on the future, the positive, the things I CAN do, rather than those I can’t.  In the coming year, I hope to stay present when confronted by difficult situations, and work to overcome them with the support of those around me.  In the coming year, I hope to step up to my responsibilities, rather than avoiding them.  In the coming year, I hope to think more carefully about the words I choose, and how they will affect those around me.  In the coming year, I hope to put the needs of those around me before my own wants, without losing sight of my own needs.  In the coming year, I hope to broaden my support of this struggling world.