Trina's Journal/Blog

We can only change ourselves; the rest we hang a carrott

There is something to be said about this journey that I am on. This is quite possibly the first time in my life where I'm at a loss for words. I have applied to over 100 companies and some of them multiple times for different opportunities. I have received two calls and both did not pan out. It's getting quite depressing and the depression is definately winning me over this time. So I've tried my best and will continue to try again. I'm succumbing to fate. Where fate wants to take me on this journey I will abide by it.

There have been other things going on in my life which are not note worthy but worth making the title of this blog. Along with not finding a job, I've had my resume analyzed. The counseller told me that there was nothing to really change but she can see the problem. #1 Lack of formal education and #2 their anticipated pay scale based on my experience. I realize that the only thing that I can do to bump up my resume is to change my formal education status. However, going back to university is out of the picture based on the cost. So what can I do? Well....I'm going to hang that carrott and display all of the great things that I can provide to a company and hope for the best. I can't change what they want but I can certainly encourage them to give me a second glance face to face.

This approach that I'm taking is exactly the way I've approached my husband, friends and raising my children. I can't change them and all the nagging in the world will not assist me in my plight. It's up to them to make that change for me or for the betterment of themselves. Who's to say I'm right anyway? I appreciate them for who they are and what they have to offer as a friend, child, or mate. If I don't like it, I certainly have options as well.

Anyway, it's been one of those top ten depression days and I felt that I had to vent to get myself inspired and motivated in moving forward. There's no point looking back and playing the shoulda, woulda, coulda game. There was one point today where I wanted to blame the world, but I know better than that.....we all do. We make our choices and must accept them for what they are.