Checked out

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Tessa was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner when the phone rang. She pushed the dishwasher shut with her hip and twisted over the top of the counter to reach the phone. Marian’s name and number was on the caller ID, she was a litter early for their evening chat.
“What’s up, you?” she answered the phone, reaching in the cabinet for a wine glass.
“You’ve got to come over right now, this is too big for the phone” Marian announced dramatically. “And promise you won’t be mad or anything.”
“Oh my god” Tessa put the wine glass back up. “What’s wrong? Is Caroline okay? We can drive to Atlanta if we need to, I’ll get Karen to open tomorrow.”
“Caroline’s fine. I can’t talk about it on the phone. Bring wine though, I’m about out of mine and I know you hate box wine.” Marian hung up, leaving Tessa hurrying to grab her purse and a bag to stick her wine in.
“Drew” she called out to her son. “Drew, I’m running over to Marian’s. Something’s wrong and she can’t tell me over the phone.” She knocked lightly on his door before going into the war zone of his room.
He was sitting at his desk surrounded by a collection of half empty juice bottles and partially eaten food. Wires ran down from his ears and attached to his laptop. Tessa approached carefully as not to scare the hell out of him. “Drew”, she touched his shoulder.
“What?! Don’t say anything about my room, I just getting ready to clean it!” he shouted defensively before she could speak again.
“I was just going to tell you I was going over to Marian’s for a few hours.” Tessa said looking around his room. “My god, how do you live like this?”
“You always do that! It’s my room; so let me keep it the way I want to. I’m going to clean it after I download this song.”
“Promise me! Anyway, Marian’s upset about something, so I’ll be there if you need anything.” She turned in the doorway. “Clean your room!”
He waved her off and went back to his laptop screen.
Tessa tucked the bottle of wine carefully between her thighs as she drove down to Marian’s house. She did have it in a bag, but technically it was still open container. However, if the police in Lightsey arrested everyone driving around early in the evening with alcohol in the car, most of the town would be having a hell of a cocktail party at the jail. It was an unwritten rule in the small town that around five or so, you packed yourself and your libation in the car or golf cart and drove around visiting. Except on Wednesday and Sunday of course, those days were for church.
Tessa pulled up in front of Marian’s house and let herself in the front door. She found her friend sitting at her kitchen table with the phone next to her and an uncharacteristic expression on her face that Tessa just couldn’t read at all. She stood there trying to interpret it and finally gave up.
She grabbed a glass out of Marian’s cabinet and poured her drink in, still trying to analyze her friend’s unusually beatific expression. She didn’t have a stitch of makeup on and her skin looked remarkable. Her short blond hair normally stood up in a tousled style, but today looked as if someone had taken a hand mixer too it. Oddly it suited her though. Tessa sat down at the table and waited for her friend to clue her in.
“You will die when I tell you this” Marian leaned across the table and clutched Tessa’s arm. “Do not tell a soul, I mean it.” She ran her hands through her train wreck of a hairdo. Tessa would swear later that Marian was almost vibrating in her chair. Marian was normally excitable, but today she seemed actually capable of spontaneous combustion.
“What about Karen?” Tessa leaned in; this must be really good. “You finally killed that sorry bastard you accidentally first married and you need me to help you hide the body?”
“No” Marian squealed with excitement and bounced in her chair. “I am in love,” she proclaimed proudly.
Tessa was floored at the revelation. “ That’s it? You called me over here for an emergency meeting to tell me this? Are you smoking pot again or something? My god, I thought something terrible had happened to you. I almost wrecked twice trying to get here in time.”
“You are so full of shit Tessa, you only live a quarter of a mile away. Plus there isn’t a soul on the road tonight, everyone’s in church except for us.” Marian huffed up and poured a glass of wine for herself. “Wait ‘til I tell you everything, but you’ve got to promise not to get pissed off, okay? Promise?”
Tessa looked inquiringly at her friend, signaling her to go on and tell her story.
“Well” Marian started, “the alarm went off this morning and I had to run up to the library to turn it off.”
“I’m so sorry,” said Tessa “What happened?”
“Let me finish” Marian shifted in her chair and pulled up the sagging strap on her tank top. “So I had to go up and turn it off. Well I was inside waiting for the cops to show up and this guy was waiting outside the door with his dog.” She took a sip from her glass. “Anyway, I opened the door to let him know we were closed and it turns out he was a detective with the county and he had heard the alarm while he was in the park. So he comes in to do the walk through with me and it hit me like a thunderbolt. BAM! It’s just like that. I have never felt this way about anyone ever in my life. I love him. I swear to you, he is so not my type. He’s short, and his clothes are a mess, and he’s bald. He’s not cute at all or even kind of cute. He’s sort of goaty looking, but I’m telling you I can’t help myself. There’s something about him that drives me wild.” She sat back in her chair, and waited for Tessa’s response.
“Well that’s great Marian.” Tessa’s lackluster response was more from caution than lack of enthusiasm. Her ebullient friend fell in love every few months and Tessa had learned to hold back until she knew the full story on Marian’s new objects of affection. So far she had lived and comforted her friend through an assortment of dating don’ts including Chuck the check bouncer, Chief Larry Littledick, Creepy Fred the panty wearer, and Bob. Bob didn’t have any really obvious issues other than an abnormal enjoyment of fishing shows, and luckily Marian got bored with him right after he gave her a fishing lure key chain for Valentine’s day. Tessa thought the “I brake for bream” bumper sticker should have been a dead giveaway to the man’s less than colorful personality, but Marion always reflected her love interests in a more positive light than they actually deserved. In fact, Bob had actually been a black hole as far as Tessa was concerned, but she never would have actually told her friend that in so many words.
She saw Marian was waiting for more of a response than that. She rolled the bowl of her wine glass between her palms while she thought for a moment. “So when will you see him again?” she finally asked.
“I don’t know!” He has my number and here’s the best part; he lives right down from the library! He is even divorced, really divorced not just separated”. Marian fiddled with her hair; which signaled Tessa there was way more to this story than Marian was letting out. “He had visitation with his dog this weekend, and it was a really cute one.”
Tessa continued to wait quietly until Marian was able to get to the heart of the story. Marian didn’t actually like pets of any sort; she made her last boyfriend board his smelly Bassett hound at the vet when he would come to spend the weekend with her.
They sat silently for a few moments before Marian finally got to the point.
“Now don’t get mad or anything” Marian began nervously. Her chest had begun to break out in a blotchy rash that she got when she was in a potentially confrontational situation.
“Marian, why would I get mad? Go ahead and tell me this monumental event before your head explodes. I think those spots on your chest are forming words at this point, you look like that girl from The Exorcist.” Tessa took her fingernail and began to scratch the words “help me” into her hand. “Look, this is what you’re beginning to look like.”
“Okay, okay” Marian leaned across the table and blurted out “We fucked.” She crossed her arms defiantly across her chest and sat back waiting for Tessa’s response.
Tessa got up and brought the wine back to the table. She filled her glass to the rim and shook the rest into Marian’s glass. “Do you have any cracker’s or anything?” she asked, tossing the bottle into the trash.
“Wait” Marian got up and retrieved the bottle. “This goes in the recycle bin in the garage.” She found some Triscuits in the cabinet and rooted around her refrigerator for a moment. “I have some ranch dip, will that work?”
“Mmm” Tessa nodded her head, mouth full of crackers. She swiped one through the dip. “Okay, now that I have something to absorb all the wine I am going to drink over the next few hours, tell me everything.” If Marian was waiting for a lecture or reminder that she was a grown woman who was responsible for her own actions. Tessa wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction.
“Promise you won’t get mad?” Marian pressed her.
“Why do you keep asking that? What did you borrow the library’s video camera to film yourselves or something? Tessa waited for Marian’s response.
“Actually, I hadn’t thought of that. Can I sign it out for a weekend?” Marian looked thoughtful for a moment “Do we have a tripod too?”
Tessa rolled her eyes at her friend. “Please buy your own camera for your pornographic activities, I don’t think the grant I wrote to get that camera actually covers something like that.”
“Well, here’s the deal. We did it in the library. Right behind the circulation desk.” Marian giggled as she recounted her adventure. “In fact at one point we were on the circulation desk. I had no idea that it was the perfect height to screw on.”
“Oh my god” Tessa sat there for a moment trying to block the images that were going through her mind. “You all did it right by my chair didn’t you? There is going to be a big wet spot on the carpet next to me isn’t there,” she demanded. “I cannot believe you!”
“Actually the wet spots, yes spots, were mainly on the counter and on one the table we keep the applications on. But I did wipe everything down, and sprayed Lysol. I know how you are about your Lysol.” Marian explained helpfully.
“Marian, I really don’t care about that. Truthfully I’ve always wanted to do it in the library too. But seriously, you knew this man all of five minutes.” Tessa fretted at her friend’s impulsivity.
“You know sometimes it’s just right” Marian said “and it was. I wanted him, he wanted me. So what?” She shrugged “Sometimes you just have to go with your feelings. I love this man, I know this. I couldn’t see waiting; it was perfect right that minute. And guess what? When we were done at the library we went to his house and we did it all over his new house, and even out on the back deck facing the lake.”
“Lord, Marian! How old is this man anyway?” Tessa asked in amazement.
“Mid to late forties, I suppose. He’s in pretty good shape though”
“You’re not kidding! So what’s his name?” Tessa noticed Marian’s phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. “Did you want to get that?”
Marian got up and checked the screen. “Its just Teeter. I’m so done with all that.” She put the phone face down on the counter. “Jim Deacon. He works with the Sheriff’s department here. Just divorced. One daughter, Erin. And he’s freaky.”
Tessa held up her hand to stop Marian before she could go into further detail. “So when do you see him again?”
“I don’t know, whenever. You know I don’t worry about things like that.” Marian sat back down. “He’ll call when he’s ready.”
Tessa hoped so. “Well it’s good that he’s divorced. I wish I could meet someone. I swear divorced men stay single for about five minutes in this town. Maybe I should dress up a few times a week and start hanging out at the courthouse so that I can get them when they’re coming out the door. I could get a little card made up to hand out or something, maybe even just put flyers under windshield wipers in the parking lot.”
“You know that’s not a bad idea. You know they publish the divorce announcements every Friday in the classifieds. It gives the date of the court hearing and everything. If you see one that looks promising, you could make sure you show up looking pretty and sympathetic on court day and reel him in.” Marian replied.
“How the hell do you know things like this?” Tessa was always amazed at the volume of knowledge her friend offhandedly threw out.
“Honey I check the paper every Friday to make sure none of my special friends are being served by their wives. I would hate to be named in a suit. It would just ruin my reputation! You just don’t screw around with alienation of affection. I hate when my sugar daddies go broke. I just sort of ruins things for me. Remember Bartlett? That was so sad” Marian said shaking her head at the memory.
“You are too much.” Tessa got up and stretched her knees out. “I have got to go. Try not to get crazy with yourself tonight.”
“Okay” Marian hugged her friend. “Hey, remember I’ll be in late tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning and you know you sit there for hours.”
“You just had one. Are you doing all your medical stuff before the end of the year? Tessa asked.
“No, I had a mammogram last week. My regular doctor is going to try to do something else about these fibroids in my breasts. They have been killing me since I went off the pill last year. She’s going to test my hormone levels and see where I’m at on the menopause scale. I have been having some night sweats lately and just feel a little tired, she thinks maybe I may be low in some of my hormones.”
“Well, let me know. I probably need to go do the same thing myself.” Tessa said. She got in her car and thought for a moment. Rolling down the window, she leaned her head out. “Hey, you did use a condom didn’t you?” she asked her friend.
Marian looked a little uncomfortable when she leaned down into the window. “Of course. Always.”
Tessa pursed her lips up to say something else and stopped herself. Better to be nice than be right she reminded herself. It was not her job to give advice to the entire world. She needed to live her life. If anyone needed her advice they would ask for it. She put the car in drive and headed for home.