What am I Doing Here?

The passing of Tika

A very special, wonderful friend is gone. My house feels very empty and cold. There are not many words that I can use, but, maybe I can try.
The very special, wonderful friend is a cat. Yes, a cat! But this wonderful cat was not any ordinary cat. She was the one and only Mama Tika. She was the oldest cat of what I can guess was about or at 16 years old. Her health had been a concern for many months. She was in and out of the animal hospital for the last 3 to 4 months. But she came out a fighting trooper.
Tika was found at my mother's house. I took her home with me when my mother and her care givers could not (make that would not) care for her. I did not know it but Tika was pregnant with her second litter within a year's time. The litter was born in my closet and six darling, little babies made my house a place of love and joy. I tried to find homes for all of the kittens but eventually, Pumpkin and Mighty Mouth were here for good. They eventually died of cancer and that also made me very sad.
Tika became a diabetic like Mighty Mouth. She took her insulin shots very well. She had a flare up of pancreatitis. She also had one cancerous tumor removed. But I think that the veterinarians did a very good job with her health care. The technicians were also very gentle and caring with her. But the age thing is something that could not be denied.
This morning I knew something was wrong. I could usually tell when she went to be bathroom with number 1. There was nothing there. I knew that her kidneys had shut down. Her beautiful eyes, with those cataracs told me that she was in distress. She tried to sit up. She tried to take her pills. She tried to give it her all, but the grim reaper would not be denied. It was time. So we went to the animal hospital and we all said good bye.
As Tika's body laid on the table, one of the techs continued to stroke her head. She was also saying good bye. Tika was there in body but not her soul. I DO believe that animals have a soul. Fight me if you think they do not.
I believe that she is in heaven with Pumpkin, and Mighty Mouth getting caught up on all of the cat gossip and play that she did not have the last few weeks of her life. Do I feel bad. Of course. There were many more "I love yous" that I wanted to say to her. I wanted to buy her something special for Christmas. I wanted to come home after a hard day's work and see the one little animal who could smile and say to me in her own wonderful way, I missed you and I know you will need my purrs to make things better.
Please don't get me wrong about the other seven cats. I love them also. I think that the two kittens have great potential, but since Tika and I were the oldsters of the house I think that we kinda understood each other.
Tika you will be missed.
I am glad you are not in pain any more.
I hope that when I dream or even go, that you will come to me with that wonderful smile on your face and say, "Hi there. How was your day? Let me purr for you!"
God bless you Tika. You were one of a kind.
:( <<<tears..................>>>