I'm Studying You

Back to the regularly scheduled WTF??

I now know that Jess wouldn't mind waking up next to me some day.

Usually when my dad's gonna come over I skip The Wall because basically the man is about as timely as a snowstorm in May. But yesterday, I had to stop in. Brushed my chops, splashed around some teeth-whitening mouthwash, slapped on some deodorant and cologne, grabbed the closest shorts and shirt I could find, and hopped on a bike down to the place that has the hot cashier.

By the time I got there I may have been awake for all of 15 minutes. Her ears were to be the first set to hear my voice all day, like usual. Only usually I've woken up completely and at least had 2 swigs of the mighty Mountain Dew.

She remarked how early it is and I said I was in a hurry. Only it wasn't me in my semi-nasally bass mumbles. It sounded like homeboy ate an entire pack of smokes, box and all, and still wasn't finished sleeping off the previous evening's domestic destruction.

And she knew it. "You like, just woke up, didn't you?" I nodded. She looked at her co-worker and said, in a way that definitely implied some sort of complimentary adoration, "Listen to his voice, you can tell he just got up. It sounds so cuuuuute!" And just to satisfy some curiosities out there, I ducked my head and looked at my shuffling feet, just so she couldn't see my blushing and sheepish grin. And motherfucking myself for being too damn tired to come up with anything better to say back. Told her my plans for the day and I was out.

Off to my dad's Amvets Post picnic. We showed up and he decided it was his job to "test the keg to see if it worked properly". That must've been his way of telling me I might be driving us home later on.

Plus it was way too hot and humid. I was craving water like it was gold. Hoarding it even. Pushing veterans that have served this country out of the way so I could get some bottled water from their picnic that I didn't even pay to attend. God bless America but she stole the B from "bless" and put it in front of ert.

And I'm glad I held off the sauce, cuz I would've most likely embarrassed myself in front of people who think my dad's some great guy. Which is true, nowadays. If someone would've said that to me twenty years ago I would've thought they were nuts.

Check that, people...I did embarrass myself. I am a lousy player of horseshoes. Blame it on the sobriety.

Fast-forward to the blind auction toward the end of the festivities. And no, they were not auctioning off Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller (though I woulda bid on some Stevie). A bunch of decent stuff wrapped up in newspaper that people placed bids for, to raise funds for the family of one of their members who got sent to some bullshit 3rd world nation because this president is obsessed with making this country look as if we're too big for our britches. Supposedly, Pop Daddy was told to drive the price of stuff up by outbidding people. It's amazing that he only paid $45 for a desk lamp and didn't get stuck holding the cane for anything else in that auction. If I coulda got $45 bucks for some new sneakers in junior high that would've been nice. But I can't complain about yesterday...he got me in and gave me a few bucks, and I really just need to leave the past where it belongs.

All in all, it was not a bad day. Wore a shirt that hopefully would even out my tan on my arms burnt the shit outta my shoulders and biceps, but I got some quality time with dad and my aunt and uncle, with people who really like him and a cause that keeps him occupied. That's really the important part, ya know? Hope yer all havin' awesome weekends; I know I am...now I have to go work on my mad wicked go-kart skillz (cuz they're that wicked, they get plural with a z) so I can run laps around hailey some day. Peace homies.