I'm Studying You

I scream, you scream, we all scream.

As usual, my dad calls me last night after 7 to tell me he's stopping by "around 11 tomorrow morning". That's cool because 11am sounds a lot more manageable than 9am (my semi-normal wake-up and crawl into life time) and buys me a little more time to neaten and not make my place look or smell like a frat house. But this is my dad and his clock we're talking about.

So to the right side of 10:30 on my clock this morning, as I'm finishing up in the bathroom, I hear the familiar rap-and-struggle with the screen door of Papa B. You must be kidding me, right? But two cartons of smokes will easily lead just about anything to the land of forgiveness (except messing with my stereo...you under no uncertain circumstances ever touch my beats...y'all been warned ) so we sat and shot the shit for a little while and got caught up. We made plans to hang out this saturday at his Amvets Post's family picnic. Good times.

Now, what else happened today? Oh, not a whole lot really but the sun coming out. I actually beat the sun and risked the melting a few lingering raindrops might cause upon my supermodel-worthy tanned complexion, and succeeded on becoming the best non-boyfriend in the world (and guys, just because I set the bar a little higher today, doesn't mean you have to go hatin' the playa and not the game).

I came with teeth. I came with body armor. I came with valor. I came prepared and determined. And what did I learn from this? Us Leos are stubborn as all-get-out when it comes to making decisions.

Grabbed my dew and paper. Jess kinda shot me a look and I flashed the remnants of the evil grin leftover from yesterday and she said "What?" kinda good-sarcastically. Then I whipped out the lines of the millenium: "I know exactly what will cheer you up, and I'm in just about no position to take no for an answer." And if you think those were the big guns, then turn your computer off, walk away into your kitchen, grab a hammer and pound the back of your hand repeatedly until you begin to hallucinate, because you won't understand the magnitude of this groundbreaking operation.

"What's that?" she asked with a healthy dose of skepticism. I rolled out of my mouth "I'm about to head down to Dairy Queen and buy you your favorite sundae, because ice cream cheers everybody up." She laughed. B-1, CWC-0.

Then the two Leo gunslingers faced off.

CWC: "No, you don't have to do that."

me: "I know. But I want to." (a few back and forth "duck season-wabbit season" yes-nos were exchanged)

me: "I'm not taking no for an answer. Hot fudge? Strawberry? Caramel? What's your favorite?" Then she hands me back my change, and there's an extra quarter in the little change conveyor. "Bonus! Now I can upsize it to a large!" She laughed.

And then she gave me the typical Leo runaround, the kind I usually gave my sister when I'd go to a concert with her and her bitchy friends and she sends me the "where r u" text an hour after I ditch them...my reply was usually "at the concert".

CWC: "Anything with ice cream." Boy did I set myself up for that one. I'll give her a point for that. B-1, CWC-1.

In between customers, she's taunting me to boot! Telling me how she's ketting a kick out of watching me stand there. I respond by saying I'm having a blast and I'm not going anywhere. She jokes that she'll be there 'til 4pm (it's shortly after 1). I tell her I've got all day and threaten to pull up a cart, hop in and read a newspaper. She laughs. B-2, CWC-1. Customers may come and go, but B hangs in there.

She's taking digs now at my memory. Digs about jobs. Digs about anything she can pull out of that bag of tricks. Telling me how stubborn she is. I remind her that I'm very stubborn too. I'm sensing stalemate and at this point I'll take my points and call it a moral victory. Until I finally broke her into submission.

CWC: "Basically anything but banana."

me: "I'll be right back." I was out the door so fast I think time began to reverse. You'd think Superman had grabbed the world and stopped its rotation.

So what did I get her? Oh my the options. I had to pick smart. Nothing plain; that's boring. Maybe throw some sprinkles on it? No nuts...wouldn't be sure if she was allergic or not. Ugh. Thankfully the twits behind the counter were either slower than Clinton pulling out of the Democratic race, or flat-out ignoring the short kid with the $20 in his hand, bcause this decision-making process is turning out to be more than a chore.

All of the sudden, lo and behold, what's that on the menuboard? Oooooh...waffle bowl sundaes...JACKPOT!! Ummm yes, this is to go...one Chocolate-covered Strawberry Waffle Bowl Sunday...with extra strawberries (cuz when I go, I go big). Genius!

I'm back at The Wall, and all signs are good because the parking lot is damn near empty. I'm just praying that she hadn't gone into hiding, cuz I don't eat ice cream much.

But there she is, slightly surprised that I actually would do this for her. Moreso impressed. Then we talked for at least a good half-hour, maybe more. I lost total track of time during the experience. Thankfully I didn't lose any bodily functions.

And we talked about a lot of stuff. Her kids, our landlords, school districts, our apartments...adult stuff. It was kinda nice. Really nice. Tonight she's going to the airport to pick up her mom, then tomorrow taking her mom and one of her sons back to the airport so he can spend a week down in Miami. So I'm really not sure if she'll have time for me and I wouldn't blame her. The ball, I believe, is in her court, and if she manages to fit me in in the next two days, then I will consider my little move today a solid step in the right direction.

Then I ran a few errands, ate some chilidogs for lunch, debated the legitamacy of my victory in a bet with Nicole over our playing phone tag the last few days (she said I never answer when she calls...I said she never answers when I call her...she replied I never call her at all...touche. So I bet her a quarter over IM that when I call her later she won't answer...she raised it to fifty cents...but we never specified when "later" was so I left her a voicemail this morning saying she owed me fifty cents and she whined saying if I had called yesterday she definitely would have answered. I know...sometimes I can play dirty ).

That's all I got for ya today. Tomorrow, in a very special "ABC After-School blog entry" webisode, I may have an embarrassing tale of a secret personal woe and one man's will to overcome his stupidity and complete lack of remembering the difference between the numbers 1 and 2 in his mixed-up excuse of a brain. But for now, y'all get to have some ice cream on me for being so good and making it to the end of this long-winded treatsie of my day so far. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79kSQ9M0pVk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsP2TheK0iQ

Very chick-friendly, I know, but you'll have that. Later.