Grandma's Pearls

Internet friendships?

OK, my youngest son has met someone on yahoo answers and he has been emailing and texting and talking on the phone to this girl. He is supposed to be taking a road trip to her hometown to meet her in person. He is 19 years old and she has said that she is 18 years old and living at home with her mom and stepdad. Since he is 19 years old, I can't stop him from going but I did tell him that I am worried about this. I don't want him to get there and find out that she is really only 14 or 15 and then he ends up on Dateline or some show like that. I have asked him to give me her email address, so that I can talk to her. I also asked him to tell her to tell her mother that he is supposed to come visit for about a week. He says he told her but she hasn't told her mother and that makes me suspicious. He said she probably won't tell her mother because she doesn't like her mother. That doesn't really sound like someone who is 18 years old, it sounds like someone younger. I have been signed in to yahoo messenger and waited for a few days for her to contact me but nothing yet. That is why I asked for her email address. I haven't checked my contacts yet to see if my son put it in there but I'm sure he will. Atleast I hope he will. I know that not all kids have the kind of relationship that I have with my kids. Most of the kids now days have some kind of problem talking to thier parent(s). None of my kids have that problem. They will all talk to me , long before they talk to thier dad and then we decide what and when to tell him. There are some things that you have to give him in small doses, otherwise he will over react and create a situation where there isn't one or shouldn't be one. For example, if he knew that I had this blog and wrote things here that he considers personal, he would have this computer in a million different pieces or he would have the internet turned off or something just as ridiculous. You see what I mean by over reacting. So, he doesn't know that my son met this girl online and that they have not ever met each other in person before. If he did, the sky would fall and the world as we know it would implode. So, he is under the impression that she is a friend that he hasn't seen in sometime and he wants to go visit.

The closer it gets to the day for him to leave, the more worried I get for him. I don't know if it is just because I don't want the baby to leave the nest or if it is something more serious. Everybody has seen the tv shows where the internet predator goes on a road trip and ends up getting busted for being a child predator. Who knows how long they talk to these guys before they make the infamous road trip. Could my son be walking into something like that? If so, he would have the stigma of being labelled a child predator for the rest of his life and that would ruin his life. Believe me, he is the last person on this earth that would be something like that. If he had his way, all child molesters, child rapists and pedophiles would be taken out back and shot after hours of cruel and unusual torture. No, he is not a mean spirited person or evil or anything like that. He just feels very strongly about the innocence of children and protecting them from bad people. I think he should become a psychologist but he plans on becoming a fire fighter. He can't apply until he is 21 so, he has two more years before he can apply. But, if this girl isn't of legal age and he goes to see her, his plans for becoming a fire fighter are going to go up in smoke(pun intended!). I have told him how I feel about this trip and he knows that I am just looking out for him, that is my job. But, how do I find out if the girl really is 18 years old without calling and talking to her mother? I don't want to do that but if that is the only way to find out, I may have to do just that. If I'm lucky, it won't cause problems between my son and I. I'm pretty sure he will understand after he gets over being mad at me for not trusting his instincts. I have tried to teach all of my kids to trust thier instincts but sometimes they don't listen to that inner voice and then I have to step in and be the bad guy for a few days until they get back on track. So far, they have done pretty good. At least most of them and the one or two that didn't listen, learned the hard way and now they are back on track. But, they had to learn the hard way because I couldn't help them or they wouldn't listen to reason. So, I let them fall on thier face! They learned but it was a hard lesson for them and it hurt me something terrible to let them fall.

Guess that is enough for now. I don't know if I will get to log on during this holiday weekend, so I hope everyone has a great 4th of July celebration!!!!