Snow Melt

I need a short vacation

Jamál (Beauty), 6 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Sunday, June 29, 2008 about 11:12 AM PDT

I need a short vacation. I need some time away from my mother. I need some time alone, by myself with just my prayer book, prayer beads and pen and paper journal. I need some time to renew myself, with no one else around.

I need some time to myself. I need some time without worrying whether Mom has taken the pills I laid out for. I need just two or three hours or days, without anybody else around. I need to get completely away from other human beings.

What brought all this on? The answer is simple, my mother is very loquacious. She talks all the time, from the moment she wakes up in the morning until she goes to sleep at night, not to bed but to sleep. My mother has always been loquacious, so this isn't something new.

Mom has always talked to herself when she did housework, laundry and dishes. It never mattered if someone else was in the house or not she always talked to herself or whoever was in the room. However, lately it seems to have increased. Perhaps it's that I'm home more and notice it more then I used to. I don't know.

I suspect her talk has become more negative then it used to be. However, since I spent a lot of time away from home and in the work force, I'm not sure. The negative talk could just be something she's always did and I'm just more aware of it now. Anyway I need some time away to get my thoughts straight and figure out what's going on.

Maybe I need to have Mom evaluated for something or other. Maybe I'm worrying over nothing. Maybe I'm just going crazy. I don't know, I just know I need some time by myself to figure out what's going on (I think I'm repeating myself).