I'm Studying You

The List and CWC, 2 of hopefully 3.

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OK so the picture kind of reeks of bad news I suppose.

For the majority of you that I've been in contact with, you know the story.

I slashed legs over to the place that sells the pretty flowers and kept my end of the bargain. Showed up at Walgreens with the tip of the rose sticking out of my backpack. Grabbed my pictures and took a brief walk through the site. No CWC. Damn.

Here I am, all ready to accept whatever she has to say, positive or negative. I'm in tune and capable of dealing with consequences/repercussions. 100% ready to run with the program. And she's not there. And to top it off, I figured as much she wouldn't be there today. And she wasn't. Two days of me carting this flower around like some sad clown who's lost his way, people lookin' at me like "what is that about" and my overall stress levels...well, let's just say for as well as I know my body, it loves fucking with me.

I get weird stress issues. If I'm really at odds with someone over something, I'll puke. Really. If something weighs on me too much, I'll toss. This is partly why I don't let too much worry or bother me. After the years of physical abuse I've put my body through, be it through sports or partying or bad diet decisions, the ol' belly still don't know how to respond when my head has issues it can't see to fruition.

So I came home last night, hung out a bit, played some frisbee, and spent a good 5 minutes power-vomitting.

Be thankful all you got was a picture of a flower.

I feel a little better today. Got off to a slow start today though, understandably. I don't know why my body loves to do this to me...I got into a misunderstanding with a girl one night and the next morning while brushing my teeth I spewed like a volcano. I could drink a 12-pack and still stand still, but chafe my romanticism and I turn into a panic attack suffering, purging maniac. No bullshit.

So anyway, guess tomorrow's the day. After all the texts and emails I received, thanks folks...means a lot to this kid. Once I set my mind to something, I become fixated. And I'm in need of an answer just as badly (if not worse) as y'all are.

Know what's funny? Since this little story of my life now seems like it's the 2nd-to-last episode of some crappy teen dramedy like The O.C. or something, I'll share this little detail before I run off to steal Ricky's bike and go to the Political Party fundraiser meeting I've got later on tonight that I totally don't feel like going to but have to: I couldn't listen to this song for a long time because it meant something to someone close to me for a long time. A once-great Canadian band, before they sold out to Sony and starting putting out lots of crap. Lots of crap-flavored radio crap. But their first three albums killed, and this is the song that happened to be playing while I was shimmeying through the parking spaces at The Wall...totally unintentional and forgot about this tune and actually popped the cd in to hear a couple other songs. Flick your Bics and sway along to the power ballad with me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYEMskcDRKY

So that's that...on the outside I'm my normal everyday me, and on the inside I'm an allergy attack away from kissing porcelain. Fun times in B-ville. Hope y'all are having a sane and healthy and stress-resistant day.