I'm Studying You

Why don't you tell it like it really is?

Outside of blogging, my writing lately has been like this video...a bunch of sad clowns in a car being engulfed by flames. It's the perfect song for today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BBlhBhVx6A

So I'm gonna bitch a little more about the things I don't like or creep me out or piss me off or even confuse me. Kick up your shoes, I might be here awhile today.

My state of New York Unemployment Insurance Mastercard Debit card sucks. It is not usable at nearly as many ATMs as they claim, which makes paying my rent a little bit more of a chore. The only places I can use it to withdraw funds are places like Walgreens, Tops and Rite Aid, and they cap the amount you can withdraw during a transaction to $40. Weak, NY, weak. Considering you tax us for smoking, driving, walking the dog, collecting stamps and passing out on park benches, at least make it easier to come up with the chedda to cover that will ya?

Why must we be limited to merely getting what we pay for? Rite Aid has their generic brand 24-pack of AA batteries at a regular price of $10.49. Walgreens has their generic brand of AA batts at $10 for a 32-pack. Now we all know what my real draw for going to Walgreens is, but I can't pass up the deal since I use a lot of objects that take AA's, I'm always on the run and I've only got one set of rechargeables that stay in my digital camera. Let me tell you, those Walgreens batteries are garbage. Word up, straight garbage. And while I'm on the topic of commerce, what ever happened to the "art of the deal"? America needs to scrap paper currency and go back to The Barter System. You know, raise chickens and then give them to the doctor who cures your warts, or trade colorful rocks to buy Elvis bobbleheads, or grow vegetables and use them as payment for a speeding ticket. Imagine how much better America- and THE WORLD- would be.

When you're driving and you stop at a stop sign and there's a pedestrian waiting to cross the street, you wave him across, right? That little cupped-hand sway (I prefer to do it twice as if to say "motion") that says "Please, after you"... you know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Willis

The only thing worse than making you wait and idle your engine, in this day and age of ridiculous gas prices and the need of instant gratification everytime we leave the house...the only thing worse than that lazy pedestrian who takes their sweetass time crossing the street, is the arrogant sumbitch who does that crazy half-jog with the arms swinging to make it look like he's jogging, but he's not moving any faster...in fact, I think it's actually slower because of the wind-drag caused by that unflattering arm-flapping.

Oh wait...I'm that pedestrian.

This has happened to me twice now in the last two days, and it's happened so often and it's not maddening, it just...I don't get it. It makes me go hmmm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Dtfi3VkiU

And yes, I realize I just lost all my street cred by posting that video. I'll pop a few caps and get it all back.

Anyway, this is what's happening: Users posting links to their myspace pages (and you can check mine out...it's a Buffalo Sabres background and nothing. That's how I roll.), and then you click on it to see what other shit people are into, and the "White Screen of Death" pops up with the following message:

This user has set his/her blog to private.


So you want the attention, you want a little love in your life in a non-WDC way, but you put it under lock and key? I don't understand this. Excuse my lack of current ghetto gangsterism lingo, but that's wack, homies.

And I can understand why people may want to have their eggs in all different baskets, like a Chinese auction. They can do it. Not me. Personally, me having more than one blog would be like me having 6 kids with 3 different babymommas. It would severely crimp my parenting skills.

The lead singer of Weezer, Rivers Cuomo...his mustache. It's bad. It needs to go. It looks like someone amputated a cat's tail and he decided to glue it on. (Don't tell PETA I said that). I'm not even going to post a link that shows it. It's too offensive.

And finally, Dave Matthews Band fans. Not DMB, but his supporters. Especially the younger ones. Talk about arrogant and obnoxious...they're the reason I'll never buy any of his albums, other than the fact that he's not really my thing. They're all like (imitates a high-pitched 20-year-old female) "OMG, DMB is, like, the best group evahhhhh and I love all his songs and I see him everytime he comes and I have a bootleg of the show in Cameltoe, Milwuakee and I heard him give an interview on the radio and I swear to God we were sharing the same air and what's your favorite song by them? Mine's "[insert mainstream radio hit here]" and I love that version he did at Red Rocks where it was just him and the other dude and you soooooo have to come with us the next time he plays here and I can't wait to go home so I can listen to it in the car while you shoot yourself in the ears after this conversation."

That was a real conversation. Only I did not shoot myself in the ears.

Actually, I have to end on a good note and say that I appreciate it when CWC tells me she's gonna be off the next day, like she did yesterday. It saved me a trip to The Wall and if she really thought about it, she'd realize I pass like 4 Buffalo News honor boxes and 6 other outlets that are either on the way to or as the same distance as Walgreens but in a different direction (and that's usually the direction I'm heading...in the opposite one) that also carry the same newspaper. She knows this. She has to know this. She's not stupid. Because if she sees me there in the early afternoon, and then I'm coming from the total opposite direction in the late afternoon, then how could she not know? I'm starting to wonder what kind of sense of logic this woman owns. Anyway, just to prove that I'm not a total DMB hater, I'll post my fave DMB song of all time, and try to get out of here before it starts to rain. You all know where to leave the hate mail.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRnpYdKYgZg&feature=related