I'm Studying You

disturbing public behavior

And this time it's not me!

Before I wratchet up the icky creep factor, I have to send a special shoutout to janieruthryals for the wicked awesome Comedy merit badge. Check her y'all, she's funny and smart too, and gets this tiny little crevasse of internet that I pay for. Welcome to the party, Janie!

Onto the disturbing stuff (granted, it's not as disturbing as CWC having a day off, but you'll have that). Everyone knows that pretty much anything goes up in here...I don't take offense to much and folks is free to set it off. Pretty much nothing will gross me out.

I think, however, what I bore witness to yesterday may have scarred me and lessened my affection towards breasts for awhile.

First though, a question. I know most of my readers are ladies. And a lot of those ladies are moms. And mom is the most difficult title to hold, along with "single and over 30". So the question is, have you ever felt the need to breastfeed your child in a public place?

I realize that's an awkward and very personal question, and quite honestly, I'm not personally interested in your answers . But consider the following:

I'm leaving the library yesterday because, frankly, it was fucking time to go. As I make my way down the main drag toward the exits, I hear the silence that was once occupied by a screaming baby. Paid it no mind...til I got to the dvd section.

Peep this shit...a rather, aaahhhh, corpulent female is sitting on a bench next to a stroller. Big ole slopply breasticle is hangin' out, aereola the size of my fist, with junior goin' at it like breast milk is a sack on the side of the road full of gold coins. And aaahhhh, mom musta left the discreetness in the car next to the parenting book. Or the etiquitte book...whatever makes you chuckle more. I tried not to notice, I really did. But I noticed.

I'm actually a caring, loving person. I just happen to be coated in an asshole-flavored candy shell. I could not, unfortunately, hide my look of distaste at junior's preferred feeding arrangement at that moment. I mean seriously, isn't there a time and a place for certain shit? If I was munchin' on boobs in public, I'd be frowned upon (if not arrested). And that's said without mentioning what could happen if I were to whip out my scrumdillyicious in a heavily-trafficked public area. Think I stop traffic trying to cross busy streets? Think again.

Other than that, last night wasn't a bad time. Chucked some pigskin, listened to some Beatles, pissed off some neighbors and got the boys into some Atmosphere. Threw on the beat to "Shoulda Known" and they instantly were transfixed. I'd post that video, but I doubt y'all are down with watchin' cokehead chicks in their underwear lovin' up on each other.

And with that, a pleasant sunday I bid you all!