The Undiscovered Country

Been there, done that, still here, still doing it.

You're either gonna laugh at me or slap me silly after you read this entry.

I've struggled with my writing of late. I have three main writing goals - self-publish my novella, seek out an agent for my trilogy, and participate in the anthology Voxxylady will be putting together shortly.

When I look at my novella I sigh, dejected because it needs so much work. My novel also needs more slashes of the red pen. Picking a short story for the anthology is proving a greater challenge because none are good enough yet.

I keep thinking as I try to tackle one of them, "Why bother? I suck. Nothing I do will improve this crap."

Ready to slap me yet?

I am.

I know better. Good Lord, all I have to do is read my item reviews, reread many of your comments here, even peruse my Trophy Room to discover I far from suck as a writer.

So why is it so difficult to be convinced at times?

What causes this drop in confidence when nothing specific happened to discourage me?

It's quite simple, and I've written about it more than once.

Fear.

Fear of failure, and a fear of success. My three goals consist of publication. I'm afraid of sending out my work just so it can be rejected. I'm afraid of sending out my work so it can be embraced by many readers who will in turn ask for more. Can I deliver? Will I end up disappointing them in the end?

This circular thinking is enough to drive a person mad.

Maybe I'm already mad.

Either way, sane or insane, confident or not, I must write my way through this. Confidence only builds by working hard and never quitting.

I have to laugh, though. Whenever I feel discouraged about my writing, what do I do? I write.