I'm Studying You

don't put the parka away yet

Sure Signs of the Apocalypse:

The bone-chilling wind with cigarette-extinguishing forty-something degreeish temps. Global Warming my ass...no need for the heat to be on in May. I haven't been to the library in two days.

The youngish construction worker with the nineties' style doo-rag/bandanna combo with the long tassles. Like a skull cap gone wrong. (Did I just say that?)

Pamela Anderson is now a US citizen. The nation's collective IQ just plummeted.

Paris Hilton wants to reproduce. Ahhh fuck, Brittney's kids are gonna need some friends to score drugs with.

Way to go, NY Department of Labor. Apparently you feel the only jobs I'm qualified for are gas station food managerial and quick lubes. And since I know nothing about cars, I assume the Quick Lube job doesn't involve KY Jelly.

The kids next door have guitars. And amps. I love Nirvana, but if I hear the riff to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" once more, I may Cobain one or more of them.

I passed a private auto-body shop. There was a Jeep Cherokee out front...smashed up, large hole on the driver's side of the windshield, airbag deployed. Draw your own conclusions...so much for airbags saving lives.

Seen leaving a local convenience store: a super-elderly man pushing his wheely-basket-walker. Might've been eighty; sure looked it. In his basket? A thirty-pack of cheap beer.

Passed a VFW hall today too. They had their plastics recycling bin out. It was full of liquor bottles. With Memorial Day coming, let's give these people a little respect. Maybe they won't feel like all they have left is to get 'faced.

A Buffalo sports franchise wins a championship! Kudos to the National Lacrosse League's Buffalo Bandits for taking home the trophy. Now if we could only get over "No Goal" and "Wide Right" and all else that haunts Buffalo sports.

The Walgreens Chick is gettin' friendlier with this schlepp. I may be out of her league, and it might not be a league I want to be in, and I may not deserve a roster spot in any league, but I'm playin' myself in anyway. Word.