Distant Voices

whats going on!!

I live in my own little house, with my own little wall with my own gate, I can stay away from everyone or open my gate and be part of the Al Ka'abi family. I choose the later.

Sometimes they come they visit me, but behind their visits is always something "Make me your famous coffee!" or "I am hungry, what did you cook?" sometimes it for me to teach them something in English. Its always something. I always say Al Ka'abi family don't come for free.

In the past four years since the divorce of Jamila, you would think Sultan has improved, has changed his ways, has decided that he made a mistake and that I am his true love. Its sad to say he has not. He is the same piece of shit I married .

Six months ago, I had an eerie feeling that he was cheating on me, I don't know how I got it but I did, after much deliberation and checking up on him, it was all reveled. He had a Saudi girl he has been having a relationship with for one year, while he was in Australlia studying. he promised her marriage and all.

I should leave you would think.

Stupidity or my children one of them has prevented me. I remember sitting with him on a cold November morning, and he looked at me with his cold eyes and said "I want another wife, its my right God gave it to me!" I remember sitting their with tears rolling down my eyes thinking "Here we go again!" I had to come up with a reply. I couldn't breath I couldn't think I kept repeating "What do I do?"

I remember getting sick, I remember fainting. I remember Ayesha crying and holding me, I remember that I threw up I remember that I felt that I died all over again. I remember the kids face, all scared I remember I could destroy them or I could destroy me. I remember that fear in their eyes that stopped me from packing my bags and leaving.


He was shocked, he said "You will not be able to stay two days without your kids," and just to twist the knife he said "Who will marry you, if someone marry's you they will use you for one year and leave you!"

I laughed at that statement, I knew in my heart it was just him trying to control me. he went on to tell me "Look at your sisters, they are divorced and they cant get a husband, what makes you different!"

His reverse psychology didn't work, I can honestly say I can look at him today and feel nothing, even his words don't hurt as much as they used to.

"Maybe your right, but I will be busy with my own life."

My heart is broken, my soul is no longer, I am an empty shell I have nothing in me. My smiles to him, my laugh its all a lie.

I do it for the my three girls without them who would let them dance to crazy music, play playstion and sneak out the house. I will go back to drugs, I will be an alcoholic, I WILL smoke met I will destroy myself before I stay with him.

The only thing he thinks with is his dick too bad its over.. he can turn gay for all i care.. or fuck a chicken.