Point of View

On A Klear Day

Relationship




In a quiet little town, far from the congested streets of a busy city, families are raised in the innocence of a bygone Americana. The limitless rise of the buildings is replaced by open views and fresh air and is the home of a hero. This hero has never fought a war nor has she cured a wasting disease. She has never rushed into a burning building or scored the winning touchdown. In fact, if you passed her in the street, she might appear as just another suburban-mother. She would certainly argue being referred to as a hero, and simply admit that she is just being herself, a wife, a mom, a friend.   

Michelle Klear makes a comfortable home for her husband, Brian and their two beautiful children Savanna, 10 and Jackson, 6 in Brighton, Mich. This small town-west of Detroit-has maintained its charm and apple pie appearance despite the surge of technology and the ever-changing world around it. Michelle carries out the typical rituals of many mothers past and present; cooking, cleaning, and maintaining her friendship with her husband of 18 years. During the hours when the children are in school she takes time for herself and makes and sells her own jewelry, writes poetry, and is a well respected member of writing.com, an internet blog-site for amateur writers where she always opens with, "Hello my sunny friends," before each of her daily entries. "Michelle opens her heart to the world and shows tremendous courage," said writing.com friend Debi Wharton. "I am envious of Michelle's writing abilities."

Klear's sunny friends would soon learn of the trouble that brewed within her world. The cheer-giver was nearing the end of her rope and felt helpless for an answer. Her son Jackson has been struggling with emotional problems since he was a toddler and over time matters had grown much worse. "When he was three we knew something was drastically wrong," Klear said. "He would have horrible and vivid night terrors and I would be forced to sleep with him, night-after-night for over one year to keep him calm."

When Jackson was 4 he was taken to the University of Michigan and underwent a therapeutic study, mostly geared towards parenting skills in dealing with emotional disorders. It was there that the Klear's first learned of the possibility that Jackson might be suffering from a form of bipolar disorder. Pediatric bipolar disorder is a controversial diagnosis. Children with bipolar disorder do not often meet the strict definition. In pediatric cases, the cycling between moods can occur very quickly. Children with bipolar disorder may have rapid-cycling or mixed-cycling. Rapid cycling occurs when the cycles between depression and mania occur quickly, sometimes within the same day or the same hour. When the symptoms of both mania and depression occur simultaneously, mixed cycling occurs.

Klear refuses to let the barrier between her and Jackson stand in the way of his success and their relationship. She fosters his growth and encourages him to talk about his fears and thoughts. They take bike rides together and play catch in the yard or go for ice cream. "He thrives in social settings," Klear said. He has friends, goes to school and loves Matchbox cars. "Everyday Jackson asks me if I am famous. I always tell him yes. I smile and tell him I am famous for being your mom. He smiles at me. "No, mom, I mean famous, you know for your writing?" I just laugh and tell him, sure I am. He smiles back and say's great. Than he goes about his day," Klear shared.

Savanna, Jackson's big sister is not without concern for her little brother. "She is very supportive of her brother's needs and does so through her loving nature and caring attitude," Klear said. "Savanna often offers to sleep with Jackson and is very good at calming him." This selfless act on the part of Savanna gives Michelle time to recharge her batteries or just relax in front of the television because it is hard to know when things will get rough or when chaos will strike. "Savanna has given up so much of her childhood for the care of her brother," Klear said. The family is forced to make plans around Jackson's moods and most of the time, his mood wins and the trip to the theater must be put off.

At times Klear feels as if she is fighting the tide when dealing with Jackson's disorder. The school he attends is not prepared to handle the many moods this child carries within his little head. His classmates and teachers try to understand but there are times when Klear will get a phone call and have to go to the school to help calm Jackson. Other times Jackson will just decide he has had enough and packs up for home, then attempts to leave the school. The comfort for him is that home is within sight from his classroom window but it is also a temptation to leave. "I am not like anyone else in my class Mom, I can't do the work," Jackson tells his mother. Klear's petitions for help within the school have been a struggle and she "walks a fine line to keep her sanity."

Finally after months of school board hearings and meetings with special education administrators they assigned Jackson a Para Pro at the first of this year. This assistant to Jackson will shadow him as he attends school and provide guidance while acting as a sounding board when his anxiety level gets the best of him. Additionally, it gives Klear some peace of mind knowing that she can let her guard down slightly while Jackson is in school and enjoy a somewhat more "normal" day.

"Last night, Jackson cried in my arms and begged me to take away his brain. Mom, I can't hear your voice anymore, all I hear is the bad stuff telling me to be angry. I don't want this brain. I wish I was never born with it," Klear shared. The Klear family has decided to seek outside help for Jackson and enroll him in a new school next year that offers better supervision and one-on-one guidance for his wandering mind. "Havenwyck Hospital is capable of handling Jackson and starting him on a new drug. I don't have the details but I hope we can get started as soon as possible," Klear said. "It is never easy to tell your child they have to go to an institution to get better. It is my job to make him well and (we) can't do it."

Through the setbacks and disappointments, fears and uncertainties Klear has never lost her faith or her passion for a happy life. If anyone had a purpose to complain, no one could point blame her way if she chose to do so. "As the day's progress my thoughts and actions turn to others. It is my job after all, and I do a pretty decent job most days," Klear said. Her days are fairly ritualistic in the typical sense of getting kids up and ready for school, preparing lunches and seeing that everyone is where they should be on time. She does set aside some time to coax her spiritual needs by attending church and enjoys the solitary walk to and from the chapel. "Sunday I give up one hour to God; just one simple hour. That doesn't seem like very much, but for some reason it seems to be enough to get me through the week," Klear spoke of her faith.

"Recently I have decided to go back to school for my Masters in Psychology. I want to become a professional licensed counselor. I want to communicate what I am learning about bipolar. I want to share my experience and help other's," Klear said proudly. She will be attending the University of Phoenix next semester twice a week and plans to graduate in three years. "Going back to school and getting my master's is a big deal, but not that big of a deal. It is just one more life decision...and we are faced with those every day," Klear said matter-of-factly.

From the back patio of her Michigan home Michelle Klear can be found being a mother, a wife and a friend. She can be found clicking away at the keys of her laptop orchestrating her thoughts into passages of poetry, or posing a question to her writing.com family. She is driven by her sons question, "will I out grow this," and inspired by the very rising of the sun and can't wait to type the greeting, "Hello my sunny friends." 




**On September, 2007, experts (from New York, Maryland and Madrid) found that the number of American children and adolescents treated for bipolar disorder increased 40-fold from 1994 to 2003, and it was increasing ever since. However, the increase was due to the fact that doctors more aggressively applied the diagnosis to children, and not that the incidence of the disorder had increased   

Sources:

Wikipedia on line encyclopedia; Childhood Bipolar disorder
Writing.com author Debi Wharton
Excerpts from writing.com author Michelle Klear