I'm Studying You

Who needs sleep?

Another overcast day so I'll take my chances with the weather. Before I get on with my life, here's the feel-good-story-of-the-day:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?columnist=hays_graham&id=3372631&lp...

Me? Trying to wean myself off sleeping meds. Having varying degrees of success. Last night was a complete setback. When I was first having problems, they were giving me 5mg of Ambien. Then 10mg. I'd maybe sleep 3 hours. Not fun. So they switched me to 50mg of Trazedone. Which worked but my body quickly adapted to. So I got bumped up to 100mg, which also worked for a time being. So my doctor suggested 125-150mg a night. I'd sleep through the night but wake up feeling as if I'd had 3 hours of sleep after a Mexican Bender. So I've tried some other things; changed things in my diet, trying to smoke less at night, trying chamomile tea, limiting Mountain Dew after certain hours and trying to keep it down to one a day. Yeah. Look ma your lil boy's all grown up and stuff.

Well, I don't know what the hell happened last night. I layed down, tired, and...nothing. I really don't think I fell asleep til 8am, and got up for good at 9:30. And I know it wasn't a good sleep at all.

I also woke up with a pain in my right kidney, as if I'd washed down a bottle of gin with 2 liters of tonic water and swallowed a whole lime that my organs just said "fuck this, I'm done with you today." I guess I must've not slept on it wrong or something . I know you're concerned...I am feeling much better this afternoon.

I've been sleeping on the loveseat in my spare room too, because it's warmer than my bedroom. Plus the loveseat is super comfy. It reclines, which gives me extra room. And I'm weird. If I sleep facing the the back of the loveseat and get right up against it it's super comfortable; I feel a strange sense of security. If I lay on my back I can put my feet up on the armrest, which I find to be comfortable too. And if I lay on the other side, I can sprawl out if I want. So it's not like I don't have options. I just don't know what the problem is.

The other issue I have with sleep is my dreaming. Lately they haven't been epic dreams...more like unrelated snippets, like dream commercials and they're all unrelated and they last like 30 seconds. I know this because in the hour+ of "sleep" I got this morning I had 3 dreams, 2 of which I can recall:
I'm at a bar with my crazy ex-girlfriend (but we're together at the time), and Peter Wolf is hitting on my girlfriend so obviously, not knowing I'm with her. Then he sits down on a staircase next to me, telling me he met this amazingly gorgeous girl and describing my ex to a tee. And that's where it ends. If you don't remember who Peter Wolf is, maybe this jogs your memory:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea8fOOwfBEs
The second one has been a bit of a recurring one lately, but each time it's with a different girl. We're walking through a meadow, me and my girl (who for some reason looks a lot like an updated version of Sigourney Weaver when she was in Ghostbusters...and I don't even like her) hand-in-hand, and she stops, and starts crying. I hug her and ask her what's wrong, and she tells me she has to break up with me. And all I say is "That's ok...it's not me, it's you" and I walk away to the music of Atmosphere's "Should've Known Better" in the background. Geez, I guess I can be an asshole in my dreams too .

OK Rule Of The Day time:
When you bring your kids to the library and one's in a stroller, and you want to use the computer next to me with your other kid (breaking the library's "one person per computer"rule), don't park your stroller/infant combo behind me. For the entire length of that video, I was absolutely physically and verbally abused by a one-and-a-half year old...screaming over the video that I couldn't hear, grabbing the knob on the back of my chair, pushing and pulling, whacking me...I should call CPS and tell them I was beaten on by a toddler.

But not kid every is bad...on the way to Walgreens yesterday I passed a day care center, and on decent days they take the kids for a walk, and it's cute...they're all holding hands, and chatting, ya know, 3 and 4 year olds being 3 and four year olds. I yield to the street so they can have the sidewalk, and toward the back of the line, the cutest little boy turned and waved to me . I said hi...I think that made my week, really.

And since I'm in '80's mode today and feeling like I'm in that sinister "let's see how many songs we can get stuck in peoples' heads today" phase, I offer this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z9bPrUark4

Not bad by a group named for drug scorers...ok I've seen too many episodes of VH1's Behind The Music. Hope you guys have an awesome weekend.