Aurora Annabelle Rivers

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I started back home, still in the blackness of the morning or the night or whenever it was. I snuck back into my room, still without my mind made up or cleared.
I felt just as bad as I had when I left and pulled my sheets over my face. I wanted to hide; from everything, the world, my life, and everyone I knew.
I heard the knob of my door turning, and I pretended as if I were fast asleep. The door closed again and I heard the person's footsteps walk into my room.
'It's probably just Paige or Mom checking up on me,' I thought. I shifted trying to actually go asleep, trying not to think about this person, or Alex or even Julian. I thought of Amanda and Connor and how happy they were together, but I could feel something grow inside of me.
Anger?
No, I was already angry enough with my life, but maybe hatred. Yes, that's what I felt.
I hated everybody so much. Why was everybody having such good luck with everything except me? Mom had Dad. Paige had Austin. Trisha had Brandon. Amanda had Connor. Everybody was in a perfect relationship, everyone except one person.
Me.
I could feel tears starting to form behind my eyelids, and my face turning red, but then I remembered that Paige or Mom still had not left. What were they doing anyhow? Watching me sleep?
One tear slipped underneath my eyelid, and I knew I was going to start crying. But then Paige or Mom would wake me up and want to talk.
I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't need to talk to them, because all they would do was tell them about their bad experiences and rub in my face how amazing their relationship was now.
I started to sniffle, but couldn't help weeping. I knew Paige/Mom knew I was awake by now so I sat up, defeated, again.
I let my hair hang over my face, so whoever it was couldn't see my face getting all blotchy. Whoever it was began walking towards me and I looked up, expecting Paige/Mom to have rushed over to me already, but instead in the darkness I saw the silhouette of a tall and graceful man.
There was no way that was my father, who by the way was on a business trip, so when I turned the lamp on, I was completely shocked to see those slanted brown eyes that were like two tiger-eye gems. This person had luxurious, wavy, alabaster hair that reminded me of a wave of water, and I just looked at him in awe.
"Aurora," he began softly moving towards me. My tears had stopped when I realized that Julian was in my room.
He didn't need to say anything else; because when he sat down beside me on my bed he wrapped his arms around me. Again the waterworks began, and holding me he didn't mind that his shirt was covered in my tears.
Julian rocked me back and forth until I was quiet. His eyes hadn't left me, because when I looked up to him his chocolate brown eyes were gazing into mine. He leaned forward and kissed me.
It was soft and gentle. Simple yet elegant. The kiss was beautiful.
There hadn't been any words spoken, except my name, but the way he looked at me said it all. I knew it would definitely complicate things more, but this was what I wanted. I wanted every moment with someone to be precious, just like I was feeling.
After that one kiss, our lips drew apart, but our foreheads still touched. My face was still wet from my tears but I knew that this was where I wanted to be. With Julian.
"Aurora, I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry. I know that I had no right to, but you have to understand, that I can't help how I feel about you," he whispered. "If you hadn't..." he paused, but I let him gather his thoughts so he could speak again.
"It's been so hard for me to see you two together, and I've always imagined how this would feel; to be with you. I've been thinking so much about you, even when we weren't talking. I needed to speak to you and was practically dying the days that we didn't speak."
He paused again.
"Aurora, I love you, and I mean it. Not just the way people throw it out, but I really love you. I need for you to set me straight on how you feel. I need to know whether anything could happen between us or..."
This time I didn't hesitate. Again I had the chance; we were closer than we were before and I wouldn't let this opportunity vanish from me again. Before he could say anything else, I cut him off and kissed his soft pink lips.
I could tell that at first he was unsure, but then this is what he wanted. This is what he said he wanted. He wanted me and whether it was the right or wrong thing to do, he kissed back.
Bringing my hands up to his face, there lay his soft skin. More than ever I realized that I couldn't let him go, no matter what anybody said I didn't want to let go of Julian.
His hands moved to my back, and as good as it felt for him to hold me like that, we both knew that we shouldn't have been doing anything at all, so when I pulled back it was understandable.
"Julian," I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was so stupid and..."
"Aurora, listen to me," he said pulling me closer, which already seemed impossible, "There is no reason for you to regret anything that you did. It was me to blame, if anything. I know just being here with you, I'm messing things up, but I needed to see you; to be with you."
I kissed him again; I couldn't and knew that I would be impossible to get enough of those from him. We sat there still so close to one another, still the sun hadn't risen, with having no idea what to do next.
I realized that for once, my mind wasn't racing as outrageously as it was before Julian had come to see me.
Growing tired, Julian and I lay back on my bed, still side by side; barely any thoughts going through our minds, except how amazing it felt to be with one another.
"Aurora," he asked in an even softer voice than a whisper, "Are you still awake?" I nodded slightly. I knew what was coming next; I knew what the next question would be, so instead I asked him first.
"So what are we supposed to do now?" I softly whispered back. Neither he nor I knew the answer, and thought about this in complete silence.

There was a break of light coming from outside, and the sun was beginning to rise.
"Julian," I whispered to see if he was awake. "Do you want to come watch the sunrise with me on the balcony?"
He did and in response scooped me up in his hands and carried me as if in a cradle out to the balcony. On the swinging bench, we sat together huddled.
"Aurora, I was thinking of what you asked before; about what we should do now. I think that you have to know what you want first. I'll abide by any rules, just as long as I can have you," he kissed the top of my head.
"Julian, you're making me pick between you and Alex?"
"No, not at all," he quickly said, "I just want to know if you are going to completely ignore this and go on..."
"Ignore this? Do you know how long this will be on my mind," I sighed. "Julian, I don't want to lose you, and as selfish as you might think this is, I don't want to lose Alex either. I've known you both for a long time, and I love you both too much to just drop one."
"Well, you know, what Alex doesn't know can't hurt him," he said with a hint of hope in his voice. I looked up at him to see if he was serious.
I kissed him again and then told him that he was right. So that settled it. Alex just wouldn't have to know, and neither would Amanda or Connor or Alan or anybody.
We sat against him in the midst of the still rising sun.
"Julian, can I ask you something?" I whispered into his chest, which I was leaning on.
"Anything you want, my honeybee," he replied.
"Don't hold back on me when you answer, but what were you thinking when we were in my room the other day when I didn't reply after you had told me that..."
"...that I loved you," he finished my sentence, but I could hear the smile in his voice. How I knew Julian so well, still after such a long time of separation.
"I knew that I shouldn't have dropped it at first," he whispered, "but when I did I didn't wait for a response from you. I just watched you; a beautiful girl standing there with deep-set blue eyes that are like two pools of lapis lazuli. Her thick golden locks of love, I thought of them as, were settled in a bun that lay lopsided on her head. Wearing only a tank top and jeans, she stood there in awe; as if I had appeared out of thin air. I saw her radiant tanned skin which glowed and made her look even more extraordinary. That's what I was thinking about. About you..." and he kissed me.
"Julian, you speak like a... a... William Shakespeare. That was complete poetry."
"Hoped you like it," he said gently, "there's more where that came from."
"You write?" I felt like an idiot for not knowing any of these things about him. "We definitely need to catch up with each others lives."

There was a silence as we sat; as my mind was still, as we sat there together, letting the light shine over us. Side by side, just like it should be. The quietness wasn't scary, or eerie, it was so many things; beautiful. Peaceful. Full of happiness.
There we sat together, loving every moment as if we were the only ones in existence.

As time went on, we realized that it was time for him to leave. Julian had to go, because in a few moments his family, as well as mine, would begin to wake.
We stood up and I let him kiss me again before he said, "Aurora, there's something I need to ask you." At the same moment I was concerned but yet not so much. Such a strange feeling, like when you feel hot and cold at the same time, it wasn't natural, but the sensation was nonetheless there.
Nodding my head he began, "What do we call ourselves?"
I smiled, "I'm Aurora Annabelle Rivers, and you are the lovely Julian Valentine. That's what we call ourselves." He smiled.
With his arms around my waist, I looked into his chocolaty brown eyes. He kissed my forehead and then parted.
He began to climb down the balcony, but then stopped.
"Aurora, I have to ask. Is that all you think of me, as another?" At first I didn't understand what he meant, until I realized he was referring to the time I was yelling at Alex on the way to Swirlies and told him that I was hanging out with Amanda and others.
I stuck my tongue out at him playfully, and then watched him descend into the shadows of the day.