I'm Studying You

Swinging With My Phantom Limb

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of my own talent as a writer. I know I've got a few peices in my port that are worth less than 3 stars. I'd like to think I have the sense to know when something of mine is better. That said, I've been struck by The Phantom Rater. Which I don't mind, much. Whoever's giving me 4.5 stars, thank you much (even if the piece is kinda a thrown-together piece of crap); I wish I could thank you personally. And to the person who thinks it's ok to rate something 2.5 stars, and not have the stones to tell me why I sucked at life that particular moment or offer any sort of advice or help, frankly, it makes me wonder. And not why this person rates (in my opinion) a decent piece so poorly and doesn't sign their name to it. No. I'm wondering, who helped you log on to WDC in the first place??

To add to my confusion today, I received a very nice email from someone asking me desperately to review something they'd written. The email said something like "I've been going thru your port, and based on what you've written and your reviews, I think you're more than qualified to review the chapters of my sci-fi fantasy novel." Ummm, ahhh...WHAT?? First, don't tell me you've been rifling thru my port and haven't reviewed a damn thing, then ask me for a review! I think I said that before. And #2, there is nothing in my port that says "Sci-fi" or fantasy. I don't like Science Fiction very much. I have little use for it. Sure, I write weird things that really sometimes don't make a lot of sense. But I wouldn't call it anything close to Sci-fi. On top of that, chapters? Of, like, novels? Honestly, I don't think I can recall reading a single chapter of anything remotely close to a novel. I tend to stick to short things. Poems. Prose. Romance. Love. Hate. Miscellany. Bullshit even. Not novels. No thank you. Not this attention span.

The funny and ironic part of my babbling is that this person has an In & Out offering reviews. And I'm not going to nitpick, because I'm the first offender of a lack of style, lack of proofreading, and a lack of effort given to how things look. But judging by the email I received, there's grammatical errors bleeding off the screen. And that said, I'm at least going to give it a shot and see if it can hold my attention. I hope she proofread it first. I hope my eyeballs don't dry out.

And I hope to god she's not reading this blog.