Snow Melt

Irrational Fears I’ve had over the years

There is no rational explanation,
For this fear of looking in my mirror,
I know I will not see a monster there,
Still I tremble at the thought of finding,
Some inhuman creature looking back at me.

There is no rational explanation,
Of this terror which occurs each year
Around December 24 of being trapped in a mall
With a thousand and one last minute Christmas shoppers
Following me from store to store.

There is no rational explanation
Of this dread I have of meeting
A spider the size of a dinosaur,
Arachnids do not grow that large on Earth,
Still the spiders in my dreams are huge
With webs entrapping the butterfly of my soul.

There is no logic to these terrors,
Coming unbidden to my mind,
When I am under stress
Or careless of disciplining my thoughts;
Sometimes I sit and laugh at the trepidation
I face each day I wake and get out of bed.

The questions that I ask myself are odd:
Do I have a tendency toward paranoia?
Is there someone out to get me when I drive?
Is the car behind following me or just going in the same direction?
Is it logical for me to turn a corner instead of going directly to my destination?
If I turn at specific place, will I have an accident?
Is my name on a list of people, forbidden to win a drawing’s prize?
Will I melt of I walk barefoot in the rain?

You would think at the age of sixty-one,
I could tell the difference between
A logical fear and deep-seated anxiety.