Cabin Fever

Almighty

Am I really what everyone sees?
In a second or two we fail to realize
that it all can be taken away.
We only control so much of our destiny;
for it is what is out of our hands
will be what most likely develops into your biography and reputation.

I got high on myself.
Now look what I've become.

I rode the waves people laid in the oceans for me.
When I climbed mountains they named them after me in my honor.
I never asked for so much. I did what I could
and smiled and shook hands and offered my gratitude
and wondered why I got the accolades
for being me and being the little-thing-doer I am.
I stopped asking when no one had the answers.

A man was stabbed around the corner once.
At least once every five years
someone doesn't make it fully across
the train tracks
that intersect my street
that intersects my parents' street.
I often hear the horn.
Millions die in car crashes.
Cancer is a leading cause of death.
Numbers beg me to ask sometimes,
"Why am I not so lucky?"
Why am I not happy with all of my life?
What have I done
to make everyone else so happy
and to not have any left to spend on myself?
Why are the emotional descrepancies
carried so far and why do they range so wide?
Sure, I can live with inadequecies,
but why should I settle for a shed in the hills
when I can afford a mansion
on the banks of happy times?
How does it work out like that?